If your Facebook feed is filled with dank memes, bizarre gifs and (hopefully) no friends who can’t stop posting racist shit, congratulations! You’re doing the internet right. For those who’re truly dank though, you’d notice the sudden blitz in friends sarcastically/ironically hitting the “attend” or “interested” button on joke-y Facebook event pages promoting totally absurd and preposterous functions.
Yelling Our Longest Yea Boi Ever At Robert E Lee Monument? Attending. Eating free donuts thinking about existential dread at the University of Rochester Interfaith Chapel? Gladly. Shoot your guns at Hurricane Irma? Fuck yea! (no, please don’t do that).
Thought it may seem like a new trend around here, these hilariously random AF Facebook events actually have been around since 2015, with tens of thousands having attended the likes of “Become an actual potato” and “Listening to Drake and crying”.
The concept started to get attention beyond the internet when hundreds of Limp Bizkit fans actually turned up to a non-existent concert at an Ohio gas station — which subsequently prompted similar fake shows like Radiohead at RadioShack and Nine Inch Nails live at an abandoned parking lot.
Singaporeans, however, are only just catching on to them. Of late, we’ve seen a couple of joke Facebook event pages inviting people to bleat for half an hour at the National University of Singapore and shout “Omae Wa Moe Shindeiru” in front of the Istana. Then there were the anime-themed ones that had people turning up for real, like the time when folks ran like Naruto at Vivocity and yelled like Goku from DragonBall Z at Chara Expo.
Respectable, but Singaporeans ain’t shit compared to what Malaysians have come up with. If you find yourself across the northern borders anytime soon, feel free to reflect on your existential crisis for five minutes at One Utama Mall, or make friends with crows at Sunway University. The must-attend event of the year has gotta be sitting alone on a park bench on Christmas Eve at KLCC Park.
Regardless, #supportlocal. Without further ado, here’s an array of fantastic choices to attend and invite your friends on Facebook to.
Just exit the NUS grounds, because its recess week. You have only one hour to get home though.
Alternatively, writhe around like a limbless POS aka Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader’s badass, but his pre-exoskeleton days are weak).
The Sound Of Music is alive outside Wisma Atria for some reason, so spin around together in sync like the whirling dervishes of Turkey.
The paper chase can get stressful, so remember to stop and smell the roses. Or, you know, just stare at the sky and do nothing at Yale-NUS.
And finally, be the coolest gang in Sentosa come ZoukOut 2017 by wearing your ugly-ass Zoot running shoes to the dance music festival.