The year’s worst (or is it best?) stories from Pattaya

What happens in Pattaya stays in Pattaya … said no one ever. That’s because our very own sin city’s dubious highlights tend to end up right here on the pages of Coconuts Bangkok.

We can’t tell you how many times stories from the beach town of all-too-dubious repute have made us laugh, do a double-take, roll our eyes, or simply go: “You can’t make this up.”

Needless to day, we’ve enjoyed another solid year of underserved bounty from our southerly neighbor, and so, without further adieu — here’s what a relatively average year in Pattaya looks like:

Famous Russian risky selfie couple posts shocking video from crane over Pattaya Bay

Photo: Elevation

We’ll start off with a relatively tame one, a Russian couple who dangerously climbed atop a construction crane — all to get a good selfie. Why they chose Pattaya as the backdrop for their stunt will likely remain one of life’s great mysteries.

Naked German man arrested while masturbating and riding electric unicycle in Pattaya

Photo: Sanook

Now this is more like it. Perfect stories are hard to come by, but in this one, we’ve got not only Germany, a naked man, and masturbation — we also have a unicycle. There’s a name for this in the news game: PURE GOLD.

Thai woman bites Indian tourist’s lower lip off during fight on Pattaya’s Walking Street (VIDEO)

Screenshot: Siamchon News/ YouTube
Screenshot: Siamchon News/ YouTube

Now this is something we kind of wish we could unsee (particularly as we saw the original as opposed to the blurred image we offered readers).

Rescue volunteers could not possibly have been prepared for the horrific sight awaiting them when they showed up at the scene on Pattaya’s Walking Street — a 30-year-old Indian national missing a sizeable chunk of his bottom lip, lost to a Thai woman in a “fight.”

Thais enraged over farang couple’s daytime sex romp on Pattaya beach drainpipe (VIDEO)

Screenshot: Sophon Cable

Back in March, a hundred locals were treated to a site that none (well, most) of them had any interest in witnessing — a foreign couple unashamedly copulating atop a large pipe on Pattaya’s Dongtan Beach, in broad daylight.

The ensuing rage resulted in the police tracking down the couple — identified only as Russian nationals — only to find out they had left Thailand just in the nick of time.

Aussie arrested for running ‘wild boat orgy’ in Pattaya

A screenshot of the Craigslist ad was published by T News.

A 49-year-old Australian man was arrested in June for allegedly running a sex tour operation in Pattaya, where he was accused of organizing Thai women to have sex with foreign men on a boat.

How did the police know? They said the Aussie was openly promoting his “wild boat orgy” service on Craigslist. Sigh.

Police summon Australian organizer of ‘Kolour’ after Pattaya gig gets a bit kinky

Screenshot: Kod Hao Version 4

Kolour, the famous EDM party, had been held in Bangkok many, many times without issue, but the organizer got in trouble back in August of this year after a pair of couples got a bit carried away at the annual Pattaya party. 

Can we say they showed their true colors? (Editor: Groan.)

We’ll leave you with this catchy Pattaya theme song as you mull the treats the fair city no doubt holds in store for us in the coming year:

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