‘Pussy Akupressure’ has hit Bali (yup, it’s a thing)

A riveting firsthand account of Canggu’s latest va-jay-jay treatment.

When some marketing material slipped ever so delicately into my box, I didn’t give it much thought as it started out boring as any other old mail.

At home services, waxing, foot massages, etc., but all it took was two big words staring up at me to smack me in the face and grab my attention: PUSSY AKUPRESSURE.

WTF?

A new treatment has apparently hit the Canggu hood for just Rp 300,000.

“If you have problem on your pussy like often wet, smell no good.. you can do pussy akupressure treatment and you get herbal for drink also,” the pamphlet read so boldly.
 

Now, disclaimer: I have had no personal complaints in the punanni region. But I guess you could say curiosity got the better of the pussy (cat)? Wondering what exactly this deeply defying treatment would entail, I decided to take the pink canoe out for an adventure—to a place where many wouldn’t dare go.

And so I booked it. One pussy akupressure coming up.

The hour leading up to the appointment I was itching with anxiety. It felt rather odd as a woman, ordering another woman to my hotel room for a snatch service.  
I asked a friend along for some support, and she did little more than lie on the bed next to me—staring away at the wall and bursting with giggles.

As if this special treatment weren’t embarrassing enough for all parties involved, when I opened the door for my salon lady, not one, but two hoo-ha specialists were there to perform this “ancient Javanese therapy” on my expectant kooch.

I have to give her props, Dewi was a seasoned “Pussy Professional” with some capital “P’s.” She had me start on my tummy, covered by a sarong at all times, whilst she assessed the area.

I suddenly grew frightened by what I was inviting into my private parts – but thankfully throughout the treatment, there were no nasty surprises.
She rubbed at my legs, ankles, and feet – and as she reached a certain pressure point, she enthusiastically shared the news that she could sense that I have “great horny.” Well phew! I released a huge sigh of relief with that announcement.

Next, she flipped me over onto my back, and moved in firm presses around the upper bikini regions. “Aha! You have good muscles. Your boyfriend enjoys your good muscles.!” It was all rather complimentary so far. I was feeling rather sure of myself after all these kooch-ie compliments.

About twenty minutes into our treatment, she questioned my very motivations for wanting the treatment, and I quote, “Why you get pussy akupressure? Your pussy already good!”

What a good day.

Why might one try out this new treatment?

Here’s a reason for you, gals of Bali. I’ve become aware that Tinder is a thing on the island now. Perhaps you’ve been hitting the Tinder account a bit hard lately, one too many right swipes ladies? You’ll feel so fresh and so clean clean after you meet Dewi.

Hens Party in Bali? I can’t think of any better way to get the girls together. Guaranteed giggles. Male strippers aren’t so common over here, so what better what to embarrass the hen?

Perhaps you are lacking in a little confidence. Your man not full of compliments? Take a hint. I have to say, I walked out feeling rather pussy proud.
My friends have now dared me to try out the more mainstream vaginal ratus treatment—for a little smush smoking. And I’ve gotta say: I’m game.

If you and your hoo-ha are up to try this special treatment in Canggu, give Dewi a call and make a booking: 0819 36938289.

Lani in Bali is THE Lani of the blog Canggu Chronicles

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