Diary of a sore loser who didn’t get into Aung San Suu Kyi’s press conference

Aung San Suu Kyi held an election press conference at her house in Bahan Township today. We didn’t get in, so we wrote about it in our diary.
7:45 – Arrive. Stand in line. Line not so long. Relieved.
7:50 – Line moving briskly. Yes! Swap story with journalist about first trip to Myanmar and failed attempt to visit Suu Kyi’s house. Notice many people with red NLD passes/badges. Get nervous. Realize later that story contained ominous foreshadowing, like in bad novel.

8:00 – Denied entry at door due to lack of badge. Make argument. Lose argument. Scene not at all like favorite scene in Blazing Saddles movie.

8:03 – Wait
8:04 – Wait
8:05 – Get frustrated. Kick self for lack of preparation. Anger deflects to better-prepared strangers as they stream into door. Door opens. Inside is billboard of a guard dog. Door closes.
8:14 – Make personal appeal at door. Gaze inside. See so much space. Get confused. Door closes again.
8:15 – Wait.
8:20 – Foreigner makes appeal to NLD spokesman in excellent Burmese. Grow jealous of foreigner’s Burmese skills. Kick self for not having similar Burmese skills. Foreigner’s request denied. Feel better. LOL.
8:22 – Wait. Press conference beings at 9am. Most people inside. Small group of unprepared outside.
8:23 – “I really need you to make an exception,” says foreign journalist at door. No exception made.
8:25 – News crew arrives. They have a ladder. A fucking ladder. They get in.
8:33 – “Can I speak to someone,” says latest appellant in British accent.
8:36 – “Please,” appellant says.
8:36 to 8:38 – Appellant identifies as Richard Lloyd Parry “from the [London] Times.” Asks to speak to NLD member U Nyan Win.
Five minutes or so later – Nyan Win miraculously arrives, as if summoned by mention of his name. Journalists swarm car, beg him for entrance. Parry allowed in. Others kept out.
8:40 – Develop irrational dislike of Parry.
Around 9am – Look on Twitter. Speech has started. Curse. Get in taxi. Leave. Cry inside.
Photos / Coconuts Yangon

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