D’Herb D’founder says his movie D’best film ever in D’video rant

While Marvel’s latest film, Black Panther, is taking the world by storm, topping the box office and garnering praise from critics and fans alike, one local actor-slash-beauty product entrepreneur is suggesting we’re sleeping on a far superior film in our midst.

Wait, you haven’t seen the trailer for Badang yet? We’ve been informed by a reliable source that it’s quite simply, “The best film, the best artistic work. It’s better than all the other films. Black Maria? Black Panther?”

That’s its star, Aliff Syukri Kamarzaman, scoffing at Black Panther, btw. Judging by his statements, we’re gonna go out on a limb and guess that maybe he’s not actually seen that many movies.

You’ll probably never forgive us for this, but before we go further, you should probably go ahead and watch the trailer for Badang for yourselves.

Marvel (ha!) at Aliff playing our Power Ranger-reject superhero, clad in spandex the shade of green that only a Ninja Turtle could vomit, while channeling a bit of that low-rent, Mask-era Jim Carrey pizazz.

If you’re not convinced, may we beseech you to read this spectacular review? It’s poetry in motion, and clearly penned by a Coconuts KL kindred spirit:

https://www.facebook.com/zhafran.tan/posts/10156050892878116

Savage.

One person not appreciating the send-up? None other than our totally un-hyperbolic star, Aliff!

Turns out he’s more sensitive than a freckle in the sun, and took to Facebook to post a minute-long video, proclaiming that not only were his feelings hurt, but also to reiterate that — haters be damned — Badang is the greatest movie ever, k?

Thank you, KiniTV for translating this hot mess so we didn’t have to:

“Don’t you think it’s tiring? You think I act for free?” asks Syukri.

Sir, we have no idea how much it costs these days to feed your ego, but we’re guessing it’s at least the cost of a plane ticket to London.

Two weeks ago, Aliff posted a short clip of himself free-styling his latest single over a busking cellist playing what appears to be U2’s With or Without You. Wait for the bit at the end where the cellist tells him to p*ss off.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfBLLn2noDM/?taken-by=aliffsyukriterlajaklaris

Syukri later took to social media and told followers that he had made the song infinitely better, and that his “singing” had resulted in passersby giving the busker money.

If delusion were a currency, one might say Aliff has reached Zimbabwean levels of money-printing frenzy: abundant and out of control.

Does his name sound familiar? You may be remembering a little ditty we wrote last month about his car getting impounded due to shady road tax dealings. Turns out you can’t register your Rolls in Sarawak, pay significantly less, and then drive around KL. Doesn’t quite work like that, Aliff.

We’re sure the RM15,000 (US$3,700) price difference is but a drop in the bucket for the CEO of a burgeoning beauty empire, who is purported to be worth millions.

Not ringing a bell? Maybe you’re thinking of that time that he waded into controversial waters with animal lovers after it was discovered that he was keeping a large wild animal in the toilet of his home.

The situation went viral after animal welfare services were called to the scene, and presumably someone informed Aliff that he can’t keep his giant Savannah cat Dodi next to the loo roll.

Still nothing? OK, then you must be thinking about the time everyone accused him of buying a baby, and he cleared up the situation by saying that he didn’t purchase the tot. However, he did acquire her in the hopes that it might bring him extra points in the afterlife. How’d he find this baby, you ask? Relax y’all, this baby came to him and his wife via Facebook.

One question: Who’s coming to see Badang with us? We’ll bring the popcorn and snark.