As rainy season is upon us in Yangon, I am going to take this time to reflect on a subject near and dear to our hearts: umbrellas.
Specifically, the need for a more tolerant approach to the notion of umbrella ownership.
It’s impressed on us normally law-abiding folk, from a young age: stealing is bad. Right? I concur that this is an objectively good norm to maintain, but there are instances where it’s wholly inappropriate.
Monsoon season in Myanmar, for one: the kind of cataclysmic weather that brings notions of private property into question.
For the purposes of collective self-preservation, umbrellas – which, let’s not forget, inhabit an exalted place in Burmese society – are collective property, guarantors of dryness, which is, of course, a fundamental human right.
And let’s face it, if you’re reading this page, you can probably afford another one if someone purloins yours. In Yangon, a shop selling umbrellas is never more than a few metres away.
Now, some ground rules apply.
First, you should only take umbrellas from the baskets or buckets or other places they are bunched together outside of an establishment. Do not, under any circumstances, take an umbrella from someone already using the umbrella. This is what police would call “crime.”
Secondly, as I’ve alluded to, taking umbrellas wantonly without putting any back into “the system” is an extraordinary faux pas. It’s generally only acceptable to appropriate another umbrella if someone else has appropriated the one you brought out with you.
Even then, it’s good form to choose one out of the pile in a similar estimated price range and appearance (giving whoever pinched yours the benefit of the doubt that their actions were unintentional).
If you were to leave your umbrella outside and if someone else were to take it, you should see that as a good thing: you’re accumulating merit.
Indeed, the umbrella sharing economy is a perfect example of that uniquely Burmese collision between Buddhist thought and the Marxist dialectic: you’ve done a good deed by offering up your umbrella, and in doing so you’ve strengthened the herd.
U Nu would approve. And so should you.
The views expressed by “Some guy with something to say” do not necessarily reflect the editorial stance on umbrellas at Coconuts Yangon
