In the countdown to our next Coconuts Colloquium — the “Anti-Manel” — happening at The Projector’s Intermission Bar tonight, we’d like to give a closer look into the experience and expertise of each of our featured panelists. It’s part origin story, part elucidation on why this person rocks (and can be counted on to serve some realness in our roundtable discussion).
Tan Xing Jian has been a life coach for over a decade, and he’s fronted the public relations side of Pink Dot for years. His involvement in the annual pride rally started after his coming out, when he was introduced to more members of the LGBTQ community and received an invitation to join the committee. Relying on his experience in publishing and coaching, he soon made the switch over to public relations, and that’s where he’s stayed since then.
It was a personal development program he embarked on at the age of 21 that helped him come to terms with his own sexual orientation and find acceptance within himself. This became the turning point for him as he pursued life coaching as a hobby before turning his profession into his passion. Today, he works with coaches to train professionals who wish to pick up the skill, using his relational coaching style to connect and emphathize with others’ struggles.
Too often, we already know what we want or need to do to better our lives, Xing Jian says, but we’re hindered by our internal barriers. That’s where life coaching comes in – he helps others unpack these challenges by giving them a safe space to share and supporting them as they move forward. Through his coaching, he’s helped people go for promotions, get hitched, change jobs, and even save their marriages.
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He offers a listening ear and counsel to those grappling with life issues, most recently helping a female who went into panic mode when she was featured in the post-event video for Pink Dot. As he spoke to her and calmed her down, he was able to help her refocus on what she should do next, and talked her through the possible scenarios that could arise. Now, she’s out to her family and they’re accepting of her, he says.
To Xing Jian, the most rewarding part of being a professional life coach is being able to see a positive change in others. The two key philosophies he goes by are: The truth will set you free, and everyone deserves the opportunity to explore a greater self-awareness in their lives. These factors in his practice also translate to his work with Pink Dot.
“Being gay in Singapore can be a very lonely affair,” he says, explaining that Pink Dot was primarily a place to feel safe in the beginning, but his involvement over the years gradually brought out the activist side of him that feels strongly about his community and speaks up for them. His work for the event may be behind-the-scenes, but it’s indispensable nonetheless, and Xing Jian has been a vital asset to the pride movement in Singapore, raising awareness for the LGBTQ community and offering support to people when they need it the most.
Read more:
Colloquium Close-Up: June Chua, founder of The T Project
Colloquium Close-Up: Pat Law, founder of GOODSTUPH
Colloquium Close-Up: Becca D’Bus
Colloquium Close-Up: Carissa Cheow, Co-founder of transNUS
