Every year, there comes a day when things simply seem too good to be true. It’s just best to shy away from eagerly sharing news and social media posts when April 1 rolls around so you don’t get taken for a sucker. Safe to say, the day after is our favorite, when punchlines are revealed and people either heave a sigh of relief or feel overwhelmingly disappointed by what could have been.
If you were out of the loop yesterday, here’s a list of brands and organizations that pulled a fast one on us this April Fool’s.
Boost Juice Bars
Taking the nasi lemak fad to a whole other (nauseating) level, the juice bar franchise showed the local dish some lovin’ with a smoothie blend of cucumber, spinach, coconut water, coconut milk, and sorbet. All that seemed rather believable, until it also tossed cooked rice and chili flakes into the mix. Blergh.
Burger King
Announcing its newest addition to the menu, Burger King’s dessert bun stack of flame-grilled chocolate patty (why didn’t it melt though), raspberry syrup, white chocolate rings, candied blood oranges, milk chocolate leaves, and vanilla frosting looked so good that chocoholics across the island wailed in despair when the fast-food chain confessed it was all a joke.
But then, plot twist. Burger King issued another statement — also on April 1 — that if its post reached 20,000 hearts, the saccharine sweet Chocolate Whopper could very well become a reality. No harm sharing this, we guess. The war on diabetes can wait.
Durex
One of the few brands that actually created a website just for April Fools’, Durex pranked condom users with its new edible range in a smoked chicken sausage flavor. Sorry, we just threw up in our mouth a little, so here are some wisecracks by netizens to keep you occupied in the meantime.
Foodpanda
Bid farewell to, er, chewing, with Foodpanda’s new line of “Fusion Blends” in flavors like Brunch Time, Game Night, Break Up, and Binge Out. Who knows what these actually taste like, so thanks but no thanks, we’ll stick to burgers and pizzas for now. Alas, the food delivery app’s joke fell flat when most comments on its Facebook post were regrettably about its spotty service instead. Ouch.
Ikea
The brand spanking new Ikea Assembly MANual is for all the dudes out there who barge straight into fixing up furniture pieces without perusing the manual first. This minimalistic handbook of instructions is perfect for you — you know who you are.
But us, we’re not ashamed to admit that our personal experience with putting pieces together to construct something useful is a little more along the lines of this vid below.
Ribena
Who needs galaxy hair or a rainbow mane when you can give yourself the gift of sickly sweet tresses with DIY Ribena dye? We’re liking the purple hues of the model’s locks, but like someone commented, it won’t be long till the ants get into her hair and colonize her scalp.
Singapore Civil Defence Force
Props to the SCDF for its seriously hilarious way of jumping on board the joke wagon with the Ambulance Choir Ensemble (ACE — gotta have those acronyms in there). The revolutionary new tech integrates “Emergency Medical Service with the human touch” to help “better manage drivers” that obstruct ambulances in an emergency.
How, you ask? Well, with the touch of a button, the ACE can actually override any vehicle’s audio system with some extremely well-mannered versions of familiar tunes, with lyrics like “move please, get out the way, get out the way. I said please give way” and “To the left, to the left, everybody please move your car to the left“.
So polite, we wish it could’ve been real.
Singapore Tourism Board
If you’re looking for the swiftest way to get kicked out of buses and trains while people shoot dirty glares your way, Durian by Dewey Ann is the latest “artisanal fragrance” you need in your life. Featuring the scent of 100 percent organic single-origin durians, the perfume will either attract fellow King of Fruits lovers into your life, or turn you into a social pariah. But hey, what’s life without risks?
SodaStream
Parodying cheesy infomercials, sparkling water maker SodaStream teamed up with American retailer Bed Bath & Beyond, reality TV personality Reza Farahan from Shahs of Sunset, and Icelandic professional strongman Hafþór Júlíus “Thor” Björnsson (aka The Mountain) to come up with SodaSoak.
It’s basically SodaStream’s technology in a bathtub, with your choice of sparkling, dazzling, and “ohmygosh” bubbles, as well as “exotic” scented bath oils to lather your body with the scent of fruit punch. If it wasn’t so ridiculous, it could be rather intriguing.
Starbucks
Unfortunately, #coffeeshare isn’t a real thing (say it isn’t so!). Although no self-respecting caffeine junkie would deign to share their morning cuppa — not even with a hot date. Perhaps you’d like to try the next best thing instead: dating app Coffee Meets Bagel.
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