COCONUTS CRITIC’S TABLE — Red Dot Modern Japanese Bistro is in a happening part of town, situated in hipsterland along Carlos Palanca Street. We made a reservation for Friday night at 8pm, which turned out to be a big mistake. The joint was jumping with a lot of noisy energy on the patio, with every table packed to capacity.
This wasn’t a problem per se, but the waitstaff was running to and fro, overwhelmed by the needs of crowd. The host station on the patio was abandoned and we stood for 10 minutes as they walked right by us as if we were not there. Eventually I wandered inside and told a waiter we had a reservation. “No reservations, all full,” he replied. I insisted we had called in advance and had been given a reservation.
Without bothering to check the book, he scanned the patio, found three people sitting at two tables for two pushed together, and separated them to give us a seat. I didn’t have the heart to tell him we were told on the phone that we had reserved a table inside.
After we were seated, it took 10 minutes to get a waiter. We asked for water, and got it 35 minutes later, which was 20 minutes after we had asked a second time.
On to the cocktails. Breaking with my tradition of ordering classics, we ordered a Toyko Mule and a Geisha. Hot tip: Don’t bother with either.
Then we found out that no maki, sushi, or sashimi was available that night. We also learned they had run out of Japanese beers. We called it an early night, and decided to return the following Wednesday around the same time.
On our second attempt the dining area was only half full, thinning as the evening wore on, and we sat inside.
We didn’t call in a reservation this time and none was necessary. Scooting up to get a few inches closer to my date, I felt something slam into both my knees. That turned out to be diagonal panel legs, inconveniently arranged to keep me outside all night, like a NYC nightclub doorman who just doesn’t like my face.
I had to lean forward to make sure I didn’t drip soy sauce into my lap all night. The full menu was available, so we dug right in, and the waitstaff was adequately responsive given the moderate pricepoint. Tonight’s first boo-boo was that although we had purchased Brew Kettle (PHP80) on our last visit, our waitress told us that local beer was not sold there. After insisting that it was, she checked with the kitchen and cheerfully corrected herself.
When our food was delivered, we were presented with chilled plates, which was a very nice touch I don’t always see at much fancier Japanese restaurants.
On to the food. We started with edamame (PHP115) and chashu bao (pork buns; PHP130) which were both good. Well, edamame is almost impossible to screw up, but still…
The miso soup (PHP55) was good and didn’t come at a temperature which would vaporize your tastebuds; it was ready to consume on delivery.
The best way I can explain their flagship roll is if you put together a superband with Johnny Rotten on lead guitar, Bootsy Collins on ukulele, Don Henley on drums, DJ Jazzy Jeff on the turntables, and Yoko Ono on vocals, their music would taste like the Red Dot Penthouse Roll (PHP650), which includes Ebi tempura, unagi, kani, wasabi mayo and teriyaki sauce.
It looks interesting on the menu, but the flavors do not meld on the tongue: you can taste each of the elements separately. The 2127 Roxas roll (PHP420) with Unagi, tuna and spicy mayo was worse, although if you love Japanese mayo you might enjoy it.
The spicy tuna maki (PHP255) was delicious, as was the tebasaki chicken wings (PHP395).
There was something on the menu called crispy pork mask (PHP235). Visions of a pig’s face fried crispy and served on a plate immediately surfaced, a look of shock or horror from the moment of death frozen on its face. I had to have it. Instead they brought me crispy pork ramen, filled with delicious bagnet-style pork chunks. While it was good, it wasn’t what I ordered.
Our waitress generally seemed to have a hard time with the menu, and when we gently explained that she had brought us sashimi instead of the sushi we had ordered, she asked, “Magkaiba po ba yun?” This bears translating for the true conyos among my readership: “Are they different things, po?”
The waitress didn’t know sushi and sashimi were different things…at a Japanese restaurant!
I was shocked to see uni on the sushi menu for just PHP235 (for two pieces). It was so reasonably priced I was actually suspicious of its quality, but my loyal readers, I would dive head first into a raging bacteria orgy in order to get you the scoop on a divine dish, so I ordered it anyway: Danger is after all my middle name.
It tasted as if after being harvested from the sea, it was quickly packed on ice in a cooler, given to a courier who sprinted to a chopper rushing to deliver it to a waiting jet that air-dropped it via sky diving courier to the restaurant roof, where it was hustled inside to be prepared. I don’t know who supplies Red Dot’s uni, but it is the best I’ve ever had.
We had two orders, and at that price point, I could have had three more. Heaven on rice wrapped in nori. It is also available as sashimi.
We attempted to end the evening with Adam’s Seriously Good Ice Cream (disclosure, Adam is a friend), but they brought out Adam’s signature offering, The First Lady’s Fantasy (a decadent chocolate ice cream sweetened with wildflower honey, organic blue agave, and coco sugar) half melted.
Apparently there was a problem with their freezer and all the other flavors were also melted. No ice cream for us. All in all, Red Dot is hit or miss: when they hit, they hit hard at an excellent price point for quality. When they miss, the reasonable pricing doesn’t make up for it, so figure out what you like on their menu and stick with it.
The Red Dot Modern Japanese Bistro, G/F AI Building, 147 HV Dela Costa St, Salcedo Village, Makati; +63 2 8339623, www.facebook.com/thereddotbistro. Mon-Fri 12pm-3pm, 6pm-11pm, Sat 6pm-11pm, Sun 6pm-10pm.
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