Gather round, peasants. We have some news.
While the rest of you nerds spend your time trying to find a cure for cancer, the agriculture division of the Resources Ministry told an MP that they will delve deeper into research that might prove that durians have aphrodisiac value.
The Star reports that Bagan Serai MP Datuk Dr Noor Azmi Ghazali told parliament:
“A friend told me it is true that there have been studies conducted on claims that durians have aphrodisiac value and are said to be good for men.”
Indeed sir, while a cool 12% of the country is now suffering from diabetes, the most pressing issue that comes to mind is whether the king of fruits can make you king … of the bedroom.
The Resource Ministry responded that they will ask the relevant boards to conduct more research, adding that the durian “is one of the smelliest yet most nutritious fruits in the world.”
He added that Thai research had shown that it was higher in antioxidants than any other tropical fruit, and that its polysaccharide gel could help stimulate the immune systems to reduce cholesterol. Chinese studies pointed towards its skin have analgesic and antibiotic qualities to relieve colds, and that Singaporean research has shown durians to have high levels of potassium.
Rounding out the durian hard sell, he told MPs that the durian could have anti-aging properties, and increase the body’s production of serotonin.
For the record, yes – but durians are also incredibly calorie-dense, and contain the highest amount of fat after the avocado. Easy there, musang king.
“According to these experts, it is really true that the durian is the key to our happiness,” he concluded.
Sirs, with all due respect, do you just really love durians or is there a durian farm somewhere that someone you know may have bought, and this is like, good PR?
Anyway, let us know how durianus phallus studies work out!
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