Denial ain’t only a river: A summary of everyone who says they aren’t involved in this week’s sex tape, plus the dude who says he is

Ah, Coconauts: Earlier this week, we waded into the shallow, vapid waters of a sex tape that had been making the NSFW rounds on the family group chat, purportedly showing a man that looks a lot like a federal minister, and another gentleman, who we would later come to find out works as an aide to another minister.

Sordid? You betcha! But we’re also seasoned, dead-eyed political animals, and throwing out allegations of a gay sex tape has to literally be chapter two of Malaysia’s How to Get Ahead in Politics Without Really Trying handbook.

Now, at the time of publishing, we refrained from naming the individual in question because you know, grainy sex tape name dropping is never a good look for us, our lawyers, and any alleged individual involved.

However, less than a day later, Malaysia’s Economic Affairs Minister Azmin Ali, bit the bullet, brought out a fresh sheet of A4 and categorically denied that not only was it NOT him in the video clip, but also that it was all part of a “nefarious plot to assassinate my reputation and character in an attempt to destroy my political career.”

It should be noted that Ali is the deputy president of PKR, a member of the ruling coalition government, and was the one-time chief minister of Selangor. He’s a big deal.

Yesterday, the other individual in question in the tape went public as well, but instead of the usual backpedaling over whether or not it was he forming the two-backed beast, 27-year-old Haziq Abdullah Abdul Aziz said that it was in fact him, that he and Ali had had a sexual liaison, and that the minister was not fit to lead.

Receiving a fair amount of internet and cybertrooper flack for his statement, Haziq today lodged a police report against those who questioned his claims: “You can call me anything you want, but I was never raised a liar,” he posted to his Facebook account.

Haziq alleges that the sex tape was taken without his consent, on May 11, during the Sandakan by-election in Sabah in a room in Hotel Four Points.

However, Ali’s team is not taking this lying down, and they lodged a police report of their own today on behalf of the minister, denying all allegations, and calling it “vicious libel.”

Right.

Earlier this week, when rumors of the tape first began to swirl, Malaysia’s 94-year-old nonagenarian prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad, claimed he had no knowledge of the tape, and wryly asked members of the media to update him on its contents.

Well, looks like someone finally forwarded him a clip or two, because he, too, has now condemned the accusations as “dirty politics,” saying that with today’s technology, anyone could have appeared to eat *ss for five-minutes at a time, and who knows – maybe he would be next in getting video photoshopped into a compromising position.

A press conference on the matter is expected at some point this evening, with Malaysia’s religious affairs authorities expected to weigh in with their two-cents.

Meanwhile, from somewhere in the bowels of legal limbo, the creaking voice of Najib Razak, Malaysia’s former PM, and current disgraced politico with 42 charges to his name, emerged today to let us all know something: “I’m not responsible for it.”

Sir, to be frank, you seem to have a lot of your own problems to deal with right now so maybe just sit this one out. How are those graft charges looking anyway?



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