Billion Dollar Whale, the sold-out book that has flooded the hearts, minds, and inboxes (PDF-version!) of Malaysians over the last two weeks will be made into a movie, with none other than our country’s living national treasure, and a women who previously expressed her unwavering support for former PM Najib, Michelle Yeoh, reportedly slated to produce it.
SK Global, the same production company who just delivered the summer blockbuster Crazy Rich Asians, has got the film rights to the book. Earlier this year, Ms Yeoh signed a deal with the company to start producing films, and if she does indeed take this on, it will be her first feature film with them.
RECAP! Billion Dollar Whale, written by Wall Street Journal reporters Tom Wright and Bradley Hope, covers the ins-and-outs of the scandal that surrounds Malaysia’s sovereign wealth fund, 1MDB. Five billion dollars were reportedly siphoned off, with the cherubic mastermind, Jho Low, a current fugitive and the one-time boyfriend of Miranda Kerr, at the center of the book.
Reported money laundering under the auspices of some of the world’s biggest names in global banking isn’t the only glam in the book – Hollywood celebrities are also heavily featured. Low’s jet-set lifestyle is also widely chronicled in BDW: Insatiable luxury, his desperation to make A-list friends, and a complete disregard for how painfully obvious his alleged thieving was becoming.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, Mr Alicia Keys — Swizz Beatz, Miranda Kerr are only some of the celebs who made it into Jho’s circle of bons temps (good times). We expect the film to feature the exotic locations, bottle-popping champagne parties and private planes that were written about in the book.
SK Global’s president, John Penotti had this to say about the project: “Tom and Bradley have crafted a thoroughly compelling telling of this unbelievable story. While certainly a daring work of investigative journalism, the narrative thread and eclectic characters that they so diligently chronicle make the book read like a thrilling and engrossing novel.”
“We are very proud to be associated with this project and anticipate moving forward very quickly to production,” he added.
We couldn’t agree more that the cast of roving characters are more compelling than wanting fries with your burger, and we’d like to throw our Coconuts KL cap into the casting arena, and suggest some considerations for the story’s main players.
Call us, SK Global. We’ll sort this out.
Jho Low – central protagonist, current international fugitive, responsible for giving Jamie Foxx two New Years’ celebrations in one day.
Suggestions: This is hard since most top-of-mind Asian actors working in Hollywood right now have six-packs. Henry Golding, the Malaysian actor who had a break-out role in Crazy Rich Asians might be able to capture the “outsider looking in” essence possessed by Low, after having been cast as wild card, unknown in CRA. He’s about 100 pounds shy of becoming a full Low, so there are a lot of snacks between him and Jho. Think about it, buddy. This could be your Monster: Hollywood loves it when hot people play ugly.
Tim Leissner – former big-wig in Asia for global banking outfit Goldman Sachs, who were responsible for raising billions for 1MDB, despite several reported red flags. Goldman Sachs is said to have made US$600 million in fees from bonds for 1MDB, of which Leissner is alleged to have been handsomely rewarded. Fun fact: He’s also married to Kimora Lee Simmons.
Suggestions: Man … where are we going to find a smug, middle-aged, entitled male working in Hollywood? Oh wait! We just fell over a dozen. Here are a few of them: Ben Affleck (the personal demons!); George Clooney (class it up a bit); Adam Sandler (we hate him already!); Robert Downey Jr (wait, but now we like him?!); Will Smith (stop robbing this man of an Oscar); Scott Disick (wild card, we know – but isn’t it actually perfect? Can he act? Get us Kris on speed-dial); Matt Damon (sorry Ben. If he’s busy, maybe just the narrator?), any Hemsworth brother currently not busy with a Marvel movie or Miley Cyrus, Bradley Cooper (no singing required, buddy).
Riza Aziz – stepson of former Prime Minsiter Najib Razak, founder of Red Granite Productions, who financed The Wolf of Wall Street.
Suggestions: Is Farid Kamil available? His brush with the law earlier this year after allegedly slapping a police officer gives him just the kind of indignant edge that we’re looking for in a character like Aziz. He’s going to have to be willing to part with a little bit of that hairline though. Can?
Leonardo DiCaprio – occasional acquaintance, recipient of alleged 1MDB-fueled film financing, and also gifted a Picasso personally from Low that he had to give to authorities.
Suggestions: Dear Leo, we the Malaysian people request your presence in the film based on this tawdry tale. Having been on the receiving end of some very nice things of dubious provenance, we think it’s only fair you donate some of your time and up the glam-factor in this film. Yours truly, the Rakyat.
Jamie Foxx – Low’s well-paid emcee, friend, and guy who went on British late-night television to tell the world about his uber-rich, generous friend Jho, who flew him from New Zealand, to Vegas on a private plane so that he could see the New Year’s ball drop twice in one day.
Suggestions: We’ve spoken to the ghost of Ray Charles through a trusted medium, and he’s clarified that this he would like to be excluded from this narrative. In lieu of the ghost’s no-go, Jamie is welcome to make an unpaid appearance. We’re not abject to seeing Michael B. Jordan in the role either.
Najib Razak: former Malaysian Prime Minister, currently the only person to be charged in Malaysia with regards to alleged money laundering involving 1MDB funds.
Suggestions: We laughed it off when a reader suggested Alec Baldwin, but the idea has really grown on us over the last few days. What about Chow Yun-Fat? Yes, yes, he’s a Hong Kong movie actor, but we think he’d bring a lot of nuance to the part.
Rosmah Mansor: wife of former Prime Minister Najib Razak, lover of luxury only matched by Low himself, Hermes collector, sometime singer.
Suggestion: Actress. Singer. Lover of outlandish fashion. Woman willing to embrace whack hair. There’s only one for us. Lady Gaga, we thing you could pull this off.
Too young? Is Jessica Lange interested? American Horror Story meets a Malaysian Horror Story, both commiserate over plastic surgery gone awry.
Readers, hit us up with your suggestions!
