Nearly three million Thais have entertained themselves with a silly video of a foreign Muay Thai fighter named Ryan, who mocks his own small penis and tries to pick up a Thai girl while speaking the northeastern (Isaan) dialect for the internet to see.
The video was posted by Thai Facebook page “Funny Clip that Will Make You Cry Laughing” and went viral over the New Year holidays, but its degree of facepalm is enough for us to translate it and share with you today.
The four-minute clip features a conversation between Ryan and a group of Thai guys, who were amused by the Thai-speaking farang.
Ryan: “Monday to Friday, I’m a boxer. Saturday and Sunday, I’m a gangster.”
Thai men: “You’re a boxer?”
Ryan: “But today…it’s Saturday, so I’m a gangster,” he keeps looking at his watch to remind himself it’s a Saturday. “I’m gonna go bang some chicks. They’re like ‘Ryan, here you are again!’”
Thai men: “Where are you going?”
Ryan: “Now? I don’t f*cking know. Bang some chicks?”
Then a Thai girl walks by and Ryan starts flirting with her in true Isaan style.
Ryan: “Oy, where are you going? Why do you look so beautiful today? Come here. Where are you going? Wanna come with me? I have a ham noi, but I bang well.”
Ham noi in Isaan dialect means a small penis.
Ryan reassures, “It’s not big or long at all!” as the Thai dudes burst out laughing.
Then again, Ryan keeps looking at his watch to remind himself that it’s his gangster day.
Thai men: “Where do you fight?”
Ryan: “China, Malaysia…Thai Fight. I win everytime. Nah, I lose a lot.”
At one point, the Thais started calling the farang “bak ham noi” or “small penis dude.”
“Buakaw can’t handle me!”
Damn, Ryan you’ve got big balls to go with your ham noi.