Touting themselves as the “No. 1 Youth Magazine in Singapore”, Teenage magazine demonstrated they’re not in this month’s issue, in which an advice column went horribly awry: A rape victim asked for counsel, but got cruelly slut-shamed instead.
One of the most important resources for rape victims here is none other than the Sexual Assault Care Centre set up by Association of Women for Action and Research (AWARE). Instead of directing the poor girl to the Care Centre — where she can get counselling, legal information and other services — the writer of the ‘Dear Kelly’ column basically admonished the victim for being naive.
As you can imagine, AWARE was really, really miffed that such a horrendous victim-blaming response got published on a mainstream local magazine. AWARE’s Head of Advocacy and Research Jolene Tan didn’t mince her words in her open letter to the editor-in-chief of Teenage, calling for an apology in their next issue.
“Rather than berate and judge victims of sexual assault, you should send the clear message that rape and sexual assault is never the victim’s fault, and encourage them to seek support and help,” Tan wrote. Check out some highlights of her open letter below, and read the whole thing here:
On the “particularly disturbing” title of the article:
“Raped after lying to parents” focuses on the alleged wrongdoing or untrustworthiness of the victim, and suggests that the sexual assault is a kind of punishment or consequence. In reality, sexual assault happens because the perpetrator chooses to disregard consent, and not due to any other peripheral decisions made by the victim. No amount of truth-telling will stop a rapist.
On the column’s condescending tone:
Every line blamed the victim for being sexually assaulted. “Kelly” sent the wrong and harmful message that by going to someone’s house, by agreeing to stay over, or by kissing and cuddling someone, the victim had somehow automatically consented to further sexual activity. In fact, consent needs to be acquired at every stage of physical intimacy – if a person is too drunk or intoxicated to give fully voluntary agreement, they are not legally able to give consent. Sexual intercourse that happens under such situations amounts to rape – not, in “Kelly’s” minimising language, a mere “case of two teens totally misunderstanding each other”.
On the article’s dangerous implications:
After someone has experienced such an assault, why are you focusing on whether she has had any other sexual experience, and implying that this is somehow shameful or wrong? Your remarks contain the dangerous implication that it is acceptable to sexually assault someone who has had sexual experience, or that consent to one sexual encounter is a blanket consent to all others in the future. (Fortunately, our law is very clear that this is not the case.)
On why sexual assault is one of the most underreported crimes in Singapore:
“Many victims cite disbelieving and unsupportive attitudes from their peers and family as a major reason why they choose not to report the crime. “Kelly’s” column would very likely discourage readers from reporting their own sexual assaults, as it would reinforce their expectation of judgmental and unsupportive responses. The column also role models an extremely negative mode of response which may influence whether young people offer empathetic support – or condescending judgment – to one another.”
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