Anyone dreading the arrival of Chinese New Year, when distant relatives descend upon you in droves to nitpick at every single area of your life? Well, in case any of you single ladies need a knight in shining armour to rescue you from annoying naggy overly-inquisitive aunties (and occasionally uncles), here’s a suggestion — try boyfriend rental services.
These two dudes, whose Facebook ‘ads’ both went viral, are offering up themselves during the festive season to any damsel in distress. For a price, of course.
First up, a 26-year-old Libra who declares himself to be ‘hilarious in Hokkien’ and capable of subduing any ‘nosy middle-aged aunty’. If you need an ‘intimidating bodybuilder’ boyfriend, he’s the guy for you. Or he can also do ‘smart local uni boyboy’. Alternatively, you can get him to help you with, er, work — ’cause he has ’10 years experience’ in Microsoft Office.
Then there’s this 21-year-old ex-national rower/rugby player/DJ who’s a self-proclaimed ‘auntie slayer’. He may not be able to save you from cockroaches or pull off parallel parking successfully, but he can totally sweep you off your feet as a Disney prince/Bear Grylls/Avenger hero/terminally ill guy (so you can write him off easily if you receive any post-CNY inquiries about your relationship status).
If you’re still unconvinced, this charmer can also — gasp! — cook four-minute noodles in just three minutes. Someone just take him already.
P.S. Should these services turn out to be false advertising/non-existent/tongue-in-cheek jokes, we will not be held responsible for any broken hearts.
