The weekend arriveth! For many Muslim families, that means the continuation of Hari Raya house visits in a long cycle of stuffing faces with kuehs, ketupat and rendang.

With so many places to visit and so many people to meet, folks sometimes forget or may not understand the appropriate routines. But thanks to Facebook user Nazeera Mohamed, a list of fine EIDtiquettes (Eid + etiquettes, get it?) that she created has been published and widely shared for all — for both hosts and guests. Showing appreciation, respect and moderation form the crux of the EIDtiquettes, and they really are useful for Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

We’ve reproduced her list below:

EIDtiquette

• When somebody asks you, “Nak air panas ke air sejuk?” // “Would you like a hot drink or a cold one?” — Just answer sincerely/honestly. It makes things easier, really. We would like to honour you as guests, and provide for you however we can.
• If you want to give gift money, JUST give. DON’T ask, “Ni masih sekolah ke dah kerja?” // “Are you still schooling or working already?” If you have to question, don’t give — just skip the “questionable” ones. A compromised decision can be sensed both ways, and it can get unnecessarily uncomfortable. If you want to give, give sincerely.
• Call before you visit. This is so, so important. You don’t want to be crashing in when the family you were intending to visit has just gotten back from the other end of Singapore. When your hosts try to reason why it may not be a good time, respect their decision. Make excuses. Likewise if guests turn up unsolicited, too. Make excuses.
• Instead of questioning, “Bila nak kahwin?” // “When are you getting married?” or “Bila nak ada baby?” // “When are you having babies?” — say a prayer! If it’s obvious someone is unmarried, “I pray you find a pious spouse soon inshaAllah” sounds so much better than “Takkan takde calon..” // “How can you not have prospects?”
• These are difficult times for the Ummah. As much as we should avoid delving into personal issues, speculating about difficult events is also something to be aware of. This is a difficult time for clarity and truth. Speak from a point of reflection, one that can inspire beauty. Not one that could potentially incite unnecessary anger.
  

  

• When someone says he or she has had enough rice cakes and coconut gravy from the other visits from the day, respect it as a request from your guest. Don’t push it and make it difficult. This is also a way to honour your guests — respecting their decision.
• Do not waste. Take enough food on your plate. If you’re not planning to have a glass of soft drink, inform beforehand if you’d like something else. Reduce plastic/styrofoam. Or not use it at all. Use cornware, or reusable plates.
• Talk to your hosts. When I used to visit with large, youthful groups, we sometimes tend to just speak among ourselves and not get to know the hosts — often times the parents of our friends, their family. This is appreciation, and it is a huge thing.
• Use discretion, apply whatever appropriate. Moderation. Know when it’s been too long in a house, or too late a time to be visiting. Be a conscious guest. And a kind host.