Source: SGAG
So our favourite parody site has uploaded what looks to be an Anderson Junior College’s Chinese composition and it’s amazing… all three parts of it. See rough translations contributed by local netizens below the photos.
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From Facebook user Gregory Sng: Read the given paragraph, and follow the writing guidelines. “There lives one old lady in a 2-room HDB flat at Redhill. She is alone at home in the day as her children are all at work. One afternoon, a dude in uniform knocks on her door, introducing himself as a NEA officer. He wants the old lady to clear the shattered flowerpot along the corridor outside her home. Unsuspectingly, the old lady took a broom and water bucket to clear the mess along the corridor. When the old lady returns to her house, she found it rummaged with 300 bucks and some other valuables have disappeared into thin air.”Guidelines: With respect to the paragraph above, write a narrative titled <<cheated>> from the first person perspective of the old lady, using proper Mandarin to illustrate the old lady’s experience and feelings while being cheated.
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From Facebook user Sebastian Pang: im a old lady , residing in red hill . a three room flat. i have seven grandchildren. during daytime, they would all be out playing, and i would end up alone at home, (sibei sian ) . one fine day, i was alone at home watching tv. i was watching ”super man returns ” . while watching it halfway, suddenly, there was a knock at the door , i looked and saw a man knocking at the door, i walked over and asked. ” do you you want me to open the door? ” he said :”yes”. i then opened the door for him. he walked in and i said: do you want me to clear the broken flower pots from the pathway? he said: also. ”i went ahead ” when i was back, i found out that my 300 dollars placed in the fish tank , along with my digimon cards are missing! anyway : for every effect, there will surely cause . ” long time ago , i had already suspected that this house was haunted!
It gets better!
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From Facebook user Sebastian Pang: This house must be haunted!,then , i was very angry(dulan), i had been saving up all these money since i was young so that i could finally purchase my xbox360,but now it is all gone!suddenly, superman jumped out of my television and asked.”why so serious? ” i said, my house is haunted! superman replied : muhahahahaha.i was furious, i unleashed ”BANKAI”(from bleach ) and threw my shuriken at him . because he had a linken sphere(dota item) , he nulified my shuriken. then after that he used ”laguna blade” and tried to finish me. i could not hold it anymore , i then used ”whosyourdaddy” and ”greedisgood” and ”buyback(dota) myself. i rushed towards him and shout ”avartar!” and took back my 300 dollars. i finally have my 300 dollars!
