Thank you, Gan Kok Tiong, for thinking about the welfare of those poor, poor escalators. Who else even spares a thought to the sensitive machinery? Nobody, we tell you — except Gan Kok Tiong.
As far as ridiculous open letters published on The Straits Times’ Forum section go, this one’s clearly deserves to be included in the hall of fame. This individual is asking us to think about the escalators by not walking on them at all — that would apparently “help in reducing the frequency of breakdowns”.
The escalators in MRT stations shouldn’t be “functioning like staircases,” Gan pleads, because our rampant walking on them is “overburdening” them. How dare we!
Another argument Gan wants us to consider: If we stop walking on escalators, we’ll be free to hold on to the railings on any side we damn want without worrying about keeping to the left stationary lane. No longer will the right-handed be discriminated for not being able to hold onto the railings on the right side! Truly, Gan’s a freedom fighter.
Screw all the folks rushing for time, right? Their urgency means nothing when it’s oppressing escalators everywhere.
Here’s his quibble in full:
Escalators in MRT stations should not be functioning like staircases.
The main issue is that those doing so are overburdening the escalators.
Also, commuters who are right-handed will then be able to hold on to the railings on the right without having to move to the left to make way for those wishing to “walk” on the escalators.
Disallowing people from walking on the escalators will lead to normal usage of the machines, which would help in reducing the frequency of breakdowns.
The Straits Times may get a lot of hate publishing preposterous letters (like this, this, this and this), but hey they’re the best pieces of unintentional entertainment. More loony letters, please — we desperately need some laughs in what’s been a highly shitty year.
