Just as “selfie” was deemed the word of the year by Oxford Dictionaries, in the arena of personality types, 2013 will be remembered as the year of the introvert.
Thanks to the Internet, the quiet, the socially awkward and the obsessive compulsive have seen ridicule turn into admiration. And while such acclaim will inevitably lead to frauds riding the quirky train, just like the would be “geeks” and “nerds” before them, the daily struggle of the introvert carries on.
To the quiet soul who spends silent hours replaying each conversation in their head, who sits at their desk constantly hoping the phone won’t ring and who returns home exhausted merely from being around other people, this is our Christmas gift to you.
Here’s how you can enjoy all that’s great about the holidays from the heart of your comfort zone, that is, away from walking, talking, human beings:
Drinks
[[{“type”:”media”,”view_mode”:”media_original”,”fid”:”39377″,”attributes”:{“alt”:””,”class”:”media-image”,”height”:”428″,”typeof”:”foaf:Image”,”width”:”640″}}]]
Far from being sad, lonely hermits, every introvert has their inner circle — people whose company they genuinely enjoy — and where there’s good company, there should always be good drinks. The aptly named Alcohol Delivery ($6 delivery charge, free delivery for orders above $50) has an impressive menu of spirits (from basic vodkas, gins and rums to single malt whiskies and even $4,500 bottles of cognac) and a decent variety of champagnes and sparkling wines. While they stock common beers, the brew specialists are definitely Mabuk Monkey ($10 delivery charge, free delivery for orders above $50) who carry Brewerkz, BrewDog, St. Bernadus and Wychwood. Both deliver within one hour with beers, white wines and bubblies chilled and ready to drink. Alcohol Delivery delivers from 6pm to 2am daily while Mabuk Monkey’s shift lasts from 6pm-midnight (closed on Mondays).
Entertainment
[[{“type”:”media”,”view_mode”:”media_original”,”fid”:”39378″,”attributes”:{“alt”:””,”class”:”media-image”,”height”:”426″,”typeof”:”foaf:Image”,”width”:”640″}}]]
Between DVDs and downloads, consoles and PCs, ebooks and actual books you probably have enough entertainment to last you until the zombie apocalypse. In any case, should there be a gap you need to plug, there are places you can turn to. OpenTrolley is a haven for readers, which has access to over 10 million titles. Deliveries cost $4.90 and are completed within four to seven working days. OpenTrolley also makes for great gift ideas that rank well above mundane Secret Santa shenanigans.
For the gamers, Funzcentre stocks games for every console that matters and is one of the official distributors for the launch of the PS4 (it arrives Dec. 19, but you already knew that). If you grew up in the era of video rental stores (yes, they’re still around), Video Ezy can offer a bit of welcome nostalgia. Browse their selection of movies online, have your choices mailed to you, and when you’re done, simply send them back in the self-addressed envelope provided.
If you just need something to set the mood real quick, here’s a fireplace video. The calming crackles and warming glow will transport you to the rural cottage you long to be in.
Groceries
[[{“type”:”media”,”view_mode”:”media_original”,”fid”:”39375″,”attributes”:{“alt”:””,”class”:”media-image”,”height”:”401″,”typeof”:”foaf:Image”,”width”:”600″}}]]
Every introvert’s worst case scenario is different, but going grocery shopping during a festive period definitely goes in the top 10. Standing in an endless line of impatient shoppers while Christmas songs recorded by D-grade singers play on loop in the background would be nightmarish to anyone. Fortunately, you’re not going to have to deal with it. Whether you want to whip up an enviable celebratory spread, or just want a few tubs of ice cream to accompany your Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit marathon, you’re covered. For all your day to day necessities and non-fresh food, look no further than GoShopEasy.com, with daily deliveries costing between $2.50 and $4.50 (free for orders above $150).
For the fresh stuff, Huber’s Butchery has a dedicated Christmas catalog and also stocks all the meat and ingredients you’ll need to put together a proper meal yourself; we’re talking beef, veal, poultry, seafood, cold cuts, sausages, cheese, bread and salad (note, they won’t be taking online orders from Dec. 20 — 25 and 31, so get in quick).
Now, for that all important ice cream, choose between The Daily Scoop (minimum of $70 per order, three days notice required), Scoopy’s & Cream (minimum order of 20 cups, $15 delivery charge, two days notice required) and the sugar-free Sugalight $10 delivery charge, free delivery with orders of six tubs or more, 36 hours notice required).
Munchies
[[{“type”:”media”,”view_mode”:”media_original”,”fid”:”39376″,”attributes”:{“alt”:””,”class”:”media-image”,”height”:”600″,”typeof”:”foaf:Image”,”width”:”600″}}]]
Can’t be arsed to pop open a can of sardines, much less cook? You can still tuck into a feast, and without burn a hole in your wallet for the “festive menus” at those overcrowded restaurants, too. From fast food to fine dining, Foodpanda has everything you could want with over 150 restaurants across 25 cuisines from Indian to Italian (check out those droolsome Christmas combos from Spizza!) and Japanese to Mediterranean. Best of all, the whole ordering process can be completed online with minimal fuss. For more options, you can also check out Gourmet to Go, Room Service Deliveries and Afiko Food Delivery.
Here’s to you introverts, and here’s to changing the world one excessively well-thought-out idea at a time.
Photos: Spizza and Huber’s Butchery, Wylio
