Bak kwa shops are open all year round, but come Chinese New Year, they see a sharp spike in popularity, with queues that snake around the block. In the days leading up to the festive period, everyone’s suddenly anxious to get their hands on barbecued pork jerky. Trust us when we say that the lines are no joke – waiting times can go up to six whole hours (#truestory, #sadreactsonly).
Since people are obsessed with the traditional version, we thought we’d take it a step further and chew on the more exotic, less popular, not-so-mainstream ones. Because we’re cool like that. So the Coconuts Singapore team (and our intern, who braved the lines) sacrificed our stomachs to take on barbecued crocodile, durian, lobster, prawn, fish and vegetarian bak kwas.
Now that we’ve lived to tell the tale, here’s our verdict — ranked from best to worst.
Fish bak kwa
What it is: Bak kwa with fish and some other magical stuff in it, we presume, for there was no ingredients list on the packet.
Our verdict: Hello, orange. The bright squares conjured up thoughts of candied orange peel – or, on second thought, synthetically-coloured dried cuttlefish skin. We caught whiffs of otah right before the fish flavour kicked in as we chewed and chewed and chewed on the tough nubs.
In a surprising twist, we just couldn’t stop after the first pop. Before we knew it, we’d finished the whole platter. Great for mindless grazing, this one (but definitely not over CNY, because, you know, queues).
Where to get it: $14.40/300g at Lim Chee Guan.
Lobster bak kwa
What it is: Handmade (yes, that’s what the package declared) BBQ lobster bak kwa made with lobster, prawn, fish sauce and sugar. Also, the makers would like you to know that there aren’t any preservatives in this.
Our verdict: This one actually most resembled ‘regular’ bak kwa, albeit with a dull sheen, which lacked that glistening glaze and blackened char. Its aroma was similar to that of the real deal, but with… sour undertones? Bland was the word that came to mind – although someone admitted they could imagine this passing off as a substitute for Chinese sausage in fried rice.
Basically, it tasted like seafood mystery meat that no one could really identify, but it didn’t offend anyone’s taste buds either. It was pretty alright.
Where to get it: $12/packet at Hu Zhen Long.
Prawn bak kwa
What it is: Again, no list of ingredients, so we’ll never know what’s in it.
Our verdict: If you thought the orange fish bak kwa was alarming, this vivid red-hued one (probably fueled by artificial colouring) distressed our delicate senses. To make matters worse, it exuded a very generic BBQ smell that we couldn’t distinguish for the life of us. If you tied a blindfold over our eyes, we wouldn’t be able to tell we were nibbling on prawn bak kwa.
There was a hint of seafood, and it wasn’t as chewy as the fish version, but its strange mix of sweet and salty threw us a tad bit off balance. We didn’t mind it, but we’d pick standard pork bak kwa over this one any day.
Where to get it: $15/300g at Lim Chee Guan.
Durian bak kwa
What it is: Called Musang King Durian Fusion Bakwa, the individually wrapped slices are a blend of pork, Mao Shan Wang durian, sugar, soya sauce, fish gravy, spices and durian concentrate. Er… yummy?
Our verdict: As big fans of durian, we were rather skeptical. The King of Fruits and pork? There was no way this could end well, we thought. Inspecting the flat, circular piece, we admitted it looked pretty standard, with a nice singe on the outer edges and a slightly greasy surface. But then, bam. The faintly artificial smell of the thorny fruit knocked us back, and it was weirdly unnerving — like it was made of 90 percent durian and 10 percent meat.
Sinking our teeth into the tender and easy-to-chew bak kwa, it reminded us more of durian candy than durian flesh itself. The taste of durian wasn’t as strong as the stink, but it certainly lingered (even after five gulps of water). This odd combination was a particularly polarising one – people either loved it and went back for more, or hated it with a passion following an agitated gag reflex.
Where to get it: $12/packet at Hu Zhen Long.
Crocodile bak kwa
What it is: A mash-up of crocodile meat (from Long Kuan Hung Crocodile Farm, no less) herbs, sugar and oil.
Our verdict: After we eventually came around to the fact that we were about to munch on crocodile (we’re all virgin croc eaters here), we scrutinised the circular slice. ‘Looks like regular meat’, someone commented, oblivious to what was about to hit us. Then we sniffed it. Immediately, a pungent herbal scent wafted up our nostrils, transporting us to one of those teahouses where Chinese tea leaf eggs simmer on stoves. We couldn’t tell you how crocodile meat smells like though — but honestly, who can?
At first bite, we instantly tasted the (mystery) herbs, and the jerky disintegrated into an almost powder-like substance. It was akin to eating one of those sugary, chewy gummy candies, except this one had a sweet, meaty flavour and just kinda crumbled in our mouths. Maybe not the best way to introduce anyone to the idea of eating crocodile meat.
Where to get it: $9.90/10 pieces at Fragrance.
Vegetarian bak kwa
What it is: A bizarre creation consisting of filtered water, soya bean protein, starch, sugar, vegetable oil, mushroom stalk, vegetarian flavouring (whatever that is) and a bunch of other chemical-sounding things. Oh, and here’s the most disconcerting bit. Underneath all that, it read ‘excessive use can have laxative effect’. Okay…
Our verdict: We saved the best for last, and by best, we mean we have absolutely no idea who on earth would willingly gnaw on this, because everything about it was traumatising. First of all, it could pass off as a piece of dried leather. To our trained, meat-loving eyes, this was obviously not the real deal. One of those mock meat types, we scoffed, already knowing what to expect. ‘It looks like dog food!’ someone exclaimed, half in horror and half with nervous laughter.
Stiff and cardboard-like, the chunky pieces confused us because they gave off a rather meaty whiff of what seemed like authentic pork bak kwa. So far so good. But then we bit into one and had to concentrate really hard on chewing the sticky, soy-like piece. The ordeal was over at last when it turned into a sweet, fruity mash and we swallowed. No more vegetarian bak kwa, we proclaimed, and heaved a sigh of relief. Perhaps our office chihuahuas would appreciate this more than us.
Where to get it: $6.50/250g at Friendly Vegetarian.
