The popular belief is that Feb. 14 is strictly for lovers. You know, husband-and-wife, boyfriend-girlfriend, gay couples, man and mistress, cougar and boytoy. So does that mean you have no right to enjoy Valentine’s Day if you’re single? Of course not. Here are some ways to “celebrate” February 14. Warning: some suggestions obviously stem from bitterness.
Do a movie marathon
Stay away from films like “Sleeping in Seattle” or Serendipity.” Our brilliant suggestions: “Kill Bill,” “Dawn of the Dead,” and “The Exorcist.” Why watch rom-coms that will make you hate your single state when you can have so much fun seeing blood, gore and vomit onscreen?
Eat in
Everyone will be eating out at expensive restaurants, so why try getting inside one when that’s impossible, considering how everyone wants to impress their date by proving they can shell money for a cool and expensive resto? The alternative: eat in, and don’t forget to pig out. You have no date to impress so there’s no need to dress up and flaunt your manners. Take home chicken wings from BonChon. Call for pizza with extra toppings. Ask the maid to buy a gallon of Choco Almond Fudge ice cream from Selecta. Eat whatever you want. Forget about utensils. And burp like you mean it.
Party with fellow singles
Don’t do this because you want to end up with someone and be not single for the night. That might complicate things. So just gather your fellow single friends – the more bitter, the better! Share traumatic stories about horrible ex-lovers and explain why you’re glad you’re no longer together. If you’re feeling a little more positive and hopeful, enumerate the qualities of The One you want to meet, preferably this ASAP.
Sweat it
If you are bitter about the fact that ugly and stupid people (with bad grammar) have a love life and you don’t, gather all that negative energy – and head to the gym. Use the treadmill like it’s your last day on earth. Lift like your life depended on it. Order your trainer to go hard on you. You’ll feel so much better afterwards. And sexier, too, which should attract some attention and hopefully get you a love life.
Pamper yourself
Enjoy a whole day of pampering. Get a haircut or go for a new hairstyle – ask for some color even. Enjoy a facial. Get a well-deserved whole body with massage. Go full blast: get a mani-pedi, have your eyebrows threaded, ask your dentist for a prophylaxis, book for a body scrub treatment, get a Brazilian wax. You’ll be perfect at the end of the day. And you don’t even need to do it for anyone else but yourself.
Buy stuff
For yourself, of course. Gift yourself with that gadget you’ve always wanted. Add to your pirated DVD collection. Splurge on clothes (and shoes and bags and accessories). Buy that cute coffee mug that you like even if you don’t drink coffee so you’ll probably never use it – just because you like it. Shell out money; it’s fine. Buying stuff can make you feel good. You don’t need anyone to buy stuff for you; you can buy things for yourself.
Sleep
Just hit the sheets and pretend Feb. 14 doesn’t exist. It’ll be Feb. 15 when you wake up and you won’t even realize that you missed out on Valentine’s Day.
