So there’s this meme being passed around on Facebook. It’s entitled “This Guy Just Explained Capitalism Absolutely Perfectly.”
Using cows as an example, it explains the traditional concept of capitalism: “You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.”
And then it lists twelve other versions, based on different countries.
British capitalism, “You have two cows. Both are mad.” Swiss capitalism, “You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.”
How would you define Philippine capitalism? We stalked our social media feed and saw these:
Jom Indanan: “In Philippine capitalism, you have two cows. They look very much like crocodiles. Both excrete bullshit, get elected to public office, and milk all of us dry. Then they build haciendas in Batangas and sprawling resort houses in Nueva Ecija.”
Rocky Dimaculangan: “You have two cows. You run for public office and slaughter your cows to feed your supporters during the campaign. When you win, you use taxpayers’ money to buy more cows — and huge tracts of land where your cows could graze.”
Chet Medina: “List all your followers as ghost employees, charge application and processing fees, deduct job retention fees and finally loan this fund back to government attaching a huge finder’s fee.”
Von Ryan Rubio: “You have two cows. The government takes both cows. You cry foul. The government invokes God, then is medically confined, while everyone is trying to find your cows. Two years later, government official is released from medical house arrest, and reelected into office. You still don’t have your two cows.”
@akosiDamaso: You have 2 cows. The gov’t takes 2/3 of 1 cow. You sell 1/3 to register the 1st, and milk it. The gov’t takes 1/3 of the milk.
