For Mistress Charlyn from Cebu, being a dominatrix is a life choice

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While writing the “Night Prowl” column for Coconuts Bangkok, I’ve managed to meet some of the most deviant and dynamic characters in the underbelly of Thailand’s capital.

But there’s nobody that quite fits that bill like Mistress Charlyn, a professional dominatrix originally from the Philippines.

“I love blood, I’ve explored it sexually many times,” she says at one point in our conversation, so casually we could be talking about mani-pedis or the newest mall.

“For example, when a slave is bound and tied up, mouth gagged, and I prick his nipple and the blood slowly goes out like that,” she laughs. “Damn, maybe I am a sadist.”

The fetish model and self-professed “goddess and ruler” lives between her home province Cebu and Bangkok, where she goes at least twice a month for private dominatrix sessions and photo shoots.

I met up with the mistress on Skype as she was starting off her day in Philippines. Her current live-in slave (“Slutty Whore” as she affectionately calls him) had just finished making her lunch. 

“I love waking up every morning, and there’s a Barbie doll in my kitchen,” she grins, referring to the leather, fishnet and wigs she makes her “sissies” (men who get off on role-playing as women) wear. “And he’s asking me, ‘Mistress, what do you want to eat?’ These are my rules, this is my life and many different kinds of slaves want to experience that.”

“I have slaves in politics, foreign diplomats, CEOs, stockholders,” says Mistress Charlyn.

Charlyn has slaves and sissies around the world — Switzerland, London, United States — who are always on bended knee. She sporadically sends them tasks by email and chat, including what to do or wear.

She has around 25 regular slaves, and each send her a monthly “tribute” of around US$300.

For BDSMers, a “tribute” is an amount of money to show appreciation. Some of her slaves buy her new clothes or items from her personal wish list. The most expensive gift she ever received so far is a car.

“I have slaves in politics, foreign diplomats, CEOs, stockholders,” she says. “But I can easily dismiss any of them. I’m not afraid of anything, and I don’t care if they are the owner of the company. I’m not into their money, I’m in it for the real submission.”

And that is what Charlyn is the most proud of. She is a dominatrix in her veins, truly thrilled by watching those who experience pain as pleasure. While other mistresses hang up their boots at the end of the day, Charlyn insists that, for her, it’s a 24/7 lifestyle — and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m ready to explore everything about this,” she said. “I’m like a psychologist. Being a dominatrix is really hard work because if you don’t know how to discipline yourself then you don’t know how to discipline someone else. I need to be in their head… but that gets me very excited.”

Even from a young age, the 27-year-old says she knew she had such an inclination. At 12, she was already learning about fetish online. As a teenager, she started frequenting chat rooms and collecting knee-high leather boots, and at 19 she finally decided it was time to take her first slave.

“I could never forget that moment,” she said, taking a sip of red wine. There’s a glimmer in her eye – or maybe just a reflection of her PVC leather jacket? “He was a French guy with a big diaper fetish and I wanted to explore it… I was nervous, maybe he would be a freak or brutal. But he was cool, and I loved it.”

Charlyn was raised in a Catholic, middle-class family. She’s the eldest of nine brothers and sisters who think she’s a fashion model.

She maintains strict ground rules both at home and in the dungeon, stating she firmly draws the line at drugs, inflicting permanent injury and underage minors. Believe it or not, Charlyn also refuses to have sex with most of her slaves.

“To be honest, 50 Shades of Grey is rubbish,” says Mistress Charlyn. “It’s making the vanilla people out there get into kink, but it’s vanilla kink.” 

“That is one of the problems with mainstream BDSM,” she says. “Mistresses will have sex with the slave because they feel obligated to. But to me, it’s not like that. A mistress should have sex or use the slave only when she wants and when she likes it, it’s not that she must be forced.”

She says the BDSM lifestyle is fading, as dominance and submission becomes more commercial. Christian Grey, the mistress is talking to you.

“To be honest, 50 Shades of Grey is rubbish,” says Charlyn. “It’s making the vanilla people out there get into kink, but it’s vanilla kink. For me, there’s nothing deep in it… but hey, it’s an eye-opener for couples on how to add a little spice into their night.”

In her free time, Charlyn enjoys going to the beach, gym and most of all, writing fiction literature. She recently released her first book on Amazon, Ninjiara, a “twisted story about a goddess, knight and a little bit of kink, of course.”

Charlyn’s ultimate goal is to one day build and rule her own “femdom dream house” with a live-in sissy maid, secretary and bodyguard. She never wants to lead what she calls a “vanilla housewife life.”

“I would like to have, let’s say, three or four slaves living with me, and I would choose one to be my husband,” she explains. “It would still be like a dominant-slave relationship but the other slaves would accept him and be understanding of that.”

She wants to explore “more deep stuff, degradation, vomit and excrement” and she hopes to travel to Europe, in particular Germany, where “people really know what’s kinky”.

At the same time, Charlyn has no illusions about what the future may hold. She’s set on enjoying the moment — and that’s what makes this dominatrix interesting, but also relatable.

“I know one day I’m going to be 60, and I won’t be able to do this anymore,” she said. “That’s why I’m saving and also putting a lot of work into my family’s import and export business. Who knows, one day I’ll get old and I’ll be the one financing this lifestyle.”

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