A video posted by a Malaysian Grab driver, the car e-hailing app, went viral last night after it exposed him as, well … a bit of a p***k.
He was caught insulting two unsuspecting Chinese tourists. On video. A video that he shot, and uploaded, himself. The modern-day equivalent of falling on your own sword in battle.
Car drivers, here is a guide to guaranteeing yourself a zero-star rating in less than a minute:
The video begins with the driver in the front seat, speaking to the camera in Bahasa. Hold on a minute there, buddy. Your eyes should be on the road, or on Waze. There are no exceptions to this. Minus one star.
He then goes on to ask the passengers where they’re from, in a language they don’t understand. Great. Love to have conversations like this when I’m just trying to get from my hotel to the KLCC aquarium. Please, drivers, keep the chat to yourself. This isn’t Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, no one has a movie to plug. Minus one star.
The driver asks the pair where they are from in China. Confused by the great Malaysian tradition of recording your taxi journeys, they still tell him that they’re from “Liao Ning, from the northeast of the country.” The driver couldn’t understand Chinese, but as far as he’s concerned, that’s their problem, and he proceeds to make fun of their pronunciation. Much like that idiot kid in geography who never could find India on the map, but made fun of anyone that could. Please sir, keep your language hang-ups to yourself. Not all of us passed Mandarin, but we’re not jerks about it either. Minus one star.
He asks the two to say hi to the camera, and then says “these two idiots wearing striped shirts look like zebras, I just feel like punching them in the heads. It’s so much fun getting passengers from China.” Psychotic behavior, with a dash of aggression issues. Grab, I think it’s time you give your drivers basic psychology tests to see how they respond to colors, patterns, and nationalities. Thanks for the sartorial tips driver, your shirt sleeves look like they were ripped from a 5-year old’s tee and reattached to give them new life, and sweatier arm pits. Minus one star.
On a roll, or so he thought, he tells the camera, “five years celebrating Grab, we have some stupid passengers from China like them” I’m gonna have to stop you right there, sir. This statement is a non-sequitur, and needs to be broken up. Five years celebrating Grab isn’t related to the intelligence level of the passengers you get. In fact, the more time you spend on the market, the more passengers you’ll get, of all sorts of intelligence levels. To be honest, if they managed to figure out how to use the app, and key in all the details in a language they don’t speak, they’re not stupid, now are they? Bottom line, your statement carries two unrelated points, tries to convolute them, makes no sense, and you’re an a**hole. Minus one point.
And there you have it, zero stars in 60 seconds.
UPDATE: Grab released a statement to the public this morning, saying the driver is no longer working for them. Expect a follow-up vlog.
