Well, well, well – if it isn’t our dear, very much wanted friend Jho Low, showing his shiny, round, not un-bao-like face to give an exclusive interview to a Singaporean paper, lamenting the purported widespread misrepresentation of his role in the 1MDB financial scandal.
You know, the one where he was alleged to have pocketed billions, bought fancy gifts for celebrity interlopers and supermodels who we hoped would have known better (looking at you, Miranda Kerr), and scored himself a US$350 million yacht that was later confiscated by the Feds.
Earlier today, Singapore’s Straits Times published a tête-à-tête with Jho, in which he claimed that instead of being the mastermind behind the billion-dollar sovereign wealth fund siphon, as is commonly suggested, he was only a middleman in the whole debacle.
“People and companies act as introducers or intermediaries all the time,” Low said.
“This is not a unique situation. I was requested to assist because of my good relationships with influential foreign businessmen and decision makers.”
Low maintained that his years-long flight from justice was not because he was guiltier than a racoon in a trash can, but that Malaysia’s government had “victimized” him and his family, ignoring “basic human rights and fair judicial processes.”
Lol.
We’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that Low is wanted not only in Malaysia, but also by the U.S. Department of Justice – oh yeah, and he also faces a litany of charges in both Singapore and Switzerland.
But hey, maybe everyone does have it wrong, and the poor fella who spent years sweating on the decks of a luxury yacht he claimed wasn’t his (but which he certainly seemed to spend a lot of time on) was just an unwitting patsy. Then again, maybe not.
Low cited his “professional connection” with government officials in the Middle East and in Malaysia as the reason for his high profile. He also went on to list his principal achievement not as showering Paris Hilton with champagne at Avenue in New York, but instead as helping boost Haj pilgrimage quotas for Malaysian Muslims and developing investment opportunities in the country.
Refusing to reveal where he was currently residing, he confirmed that the country gave him asylum in August of last year.
Last November, Jho made headlines across the world when it was revealed that he had successfully obtained an E.U. passport from the Mediterranean nation of Cyprus. Following a local Greek-language paper’s exposé, the country’s leadership said they would be revoking Jho’s documents.
Despite being offered refuge, an Interpol red notice on Jho Low still stands, and he remains wanted in Malaysia, the United States, Switzerland, and Singapore for his role in the sovereign wealth fund financial scam, in which an estimated US$4.5 billion was allegedly siphoned off for the benefit of Low and his cronies.
Aiyo, Jho. Chinese New Year coming up, lah. Faster, come home already for that yee sang and ang pow.
