The Islamic political party Amanah women’s division, Awan, today condemned catchy, Spanish-language, Puerto Rican banger Despacito, in an apparent bid to suck all da fun out of the club, and out of our collective heads.
The song features Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee, and certified gringo Justin Bieber.
Awan member Atriza Umar released a statement, calling for radio stations to stop playing the song, as it had extensive sexual references that were not “compatible” with Eastern and Islamic culture.
This editor, for one, is incredibly impressed with Umar’s Spanish knowledge. Would not have guessed it. Muy bien mija, muy bien.
Deciphering the meaning behind such poetic lyrics takes skill. To know that among them lie suggestive undertones that include, and are not limited to, the following takes at least a couple years of intense study:
“Let me surpass your danger zones” – surely refers to someone’s browser history.
And,
“I wanna strip you off with kisses slowly” – physically impossible, but romantic in a cheesy, Latin way, I guess?
These are not to be understood by the layman, and certainly not by the millions around the world, Justin Bieber included, who don’t speak Spanish, have no idea what the heck is being said, and just “like the beat.”
But thank you for bringing to our attention just how darn corny Latin music can get.
She also chastised the Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) for failing in its obligation to be a “moral guardian.”
Good to know that while there’s no accounting for good taste, somewhere in the echelons of bureaucracy there is a moral compass with the power to blur out Spanish lyrics that no one understands anyways.
Can’t think of a better way to spend our time. Gasolina, everybody.
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