Over three agonising days, Malaysia has been grappling with an emerging crisis that simply needed to be resolved, lest we descend into chaos: is it okay for us to eat poppy seed cakes?
On Tuesday, the chief of KL’s Narcotics Crime Investigation Department initially warned Malaysians not to eat anything that used poppy seeds as an ingredient – because apparently, eating too many slices of poppy seed cakes at your favourite hipster cafe could get you high on morphine, and therefore subject to police arrest.
Yesterday, Health Minister Dr S Subramaniam said his ministry had never imposed any restrictions on importing poppy seeds, or on using them in recipes, be they at home or in a commercial restaurant.
Huh.
Well, today the nation’s top cop, Inspector-General of Police Khalid Abu Bakar, stepped in to voice his (very influential) opinion on this grave national issue: look, seriously, it’s fine. Go eat your poppy seed cakes, you damn hipsters.
Speaking to Bernama, Khalid said, “Poppy seeds are a spice long used in our cooking. It is taken only in small quantities and does not show up positive in urine.”
He also expressed his agreement with Dr Subramaniam that eating food made with poppy seeds will probably not jeopardise anyone’s health. (Unless that person is diabetic, in which case please don’t eat cakes of any kind, you’re going to hurt yourself.)
Why are you still reading this? Go have dessert. You’ve waited long enough.
