Someone keeps pooping in the Tseung Kwan O public swimming pool

Doodie!

Why strain on a toilet when you can do your business in a pool? It’s like a natural water birth, but for your poop. 

We don’t actually condone this behaviour – please don’t do it – but at least one person in Tseung Kwan O doesn’t give a fuck about social norms or public hygiene as “a small amount of faeces” has been found in the public swimming pool there for two goddamned days in a row.

Yesterday the Leisure and Cultural Services Department (LCSD) had to close the pool from around 5pm until exactly 8:40pm (they’ve got their shit-cleaning protocol down to a science!).

Today, the LCSD has closed the pool again until around 1pm for “cleansing and superchlorination” after “the discovery” of some faecal matter. 

How we imagine the cleaning staff reacted on Day 2.

How does this happen? Does someone have a serious grudge against the Tseung Kwan O pool staff? Did they miss a turd the first time they cleaned the pool? Is there an epidemic of food poisoning and people just can’t help it?

Ever so helpful, the LCSD advises people “not to swim after a full meal” (lest your bowels become full) and to “use the toilet facilities if necessary before swimming” (because that’s where you’re supposed to relieve yourself, in case you didn’t know).