Hey, all you homeboys and homegirls. The state-run Chinese press agency Xinhua wants to holler at you about a real dope pair of policy meetings called the “Two Sessions,” ya heard?
What? You thought the Two Sessions were lame? No way, player! They’re tight! Why, just take a look at this sick rap.
https://twitter.com/jgriffiths/status/1102416574009565184
(Full video here.)
As the Naughty by Nature might say, “You down with P-R-C? Yeah, you know me!”
The ill bars above come courtesy of self-identified rapper Su Han, who in his own telling, “got elation from inspiration writing a compliment song/ for the nation while I’m talking about ‘Two Sessions.’”
For those of you not down with the hypest political meetings in the PRC, let us lay it out for you.
“Two Sessions” refers to the annual meetings of the National People’s Congress (NPC) and the Chinese People’s Political Consultative Conference (CPPCC), which kicked off over the weekend. In fact, the Two Sessions are so turnt, The Guardian reports that security measures in Beijing are tightened, with residents “conscripted as volunteers for neighbourhood ‘stability control.’”
The outlet also notes that the NPC, often seen as a “rubber stamp” body, has never voted down a proposed law since it started meeting in 1954.
That’s right, yo. Ain’t no party like a Chinese Communist Party, because a Chinese Communist Party don’t tolerate dissent!
But as ill as the Two Sessions usually are, according to Xinhua, 2019 is about to be especially off the chains.
“The year 2019 is crucial for the country’s bid to build a moderately prosperous society in all respects by the time the Communist Party of China (CPC) marks its centenary,” the state-run outlet said.
Word to ya moms!
But enough about the Two Sessions. How about that frizzy-fresh rap?
Su Han breaks ‘em off a piece of “the true essence of our country’s development,” trading rap videos’ usual trappings of Lambos and yachts for the exploits of the People’s Republic’s lunar rovers and Jiaolong Submersible Vehicles (“Mariana Trench’s got nothing difficult!” Hey-oooooo!).
And don’t sleep on those cloned macaques, homie — they’re both “cute and congruous” — not to mention the Micius micro-satellite, soaring above us like an “imposing eagle.”
All this before getting to the breakdown:
Y’all know it’s time for Chinese miracle!
We’ve got “two sessions,” w-we’ve got “two sessions.”
For the fragrance we’re blessing,
To the world we show our affection.
See we got “two sessions,”
Let me show you Chinese manners.
Tramp the bygone cession we’re the fortitude presence.
All in all, it’s a dope track for shizzle. But you know Coconuts HK is old school. That said, here’s a bonus track from last year’s Two Sessions produced by the People’s Daily, and introduced by one of the hottest hype men in the Two Sessions game: People’s Daily editor and columnist Curtis Stone.
It’s a banger, alright.
As Su Han says: “Joy of success is like a weekend car ride around the pool/ Process and delightful achievements tied up to the mood.”
Damn straight.
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