Pop star Justin Bieber’s new line of ill-fitting corduroy potato sacks, oops, clothes officially touched down in Hong Kong today with all the fanfare and line-standing that you’d expect from an occasion of such momentous, trend-setting obnoxiousness.
A huge crowd snaked down the street outside of the new pop-up shop for Bieber’s clothing label Drew House in Central this afternoon. The label, for those that don’t know, takes its moniker from Bieber’s own middle name, and if that wasn’t enough to make you think the entire endeavor was a lazy, nakedly egotistical cash grab, wait til you see the clothes!
The line was described by one Drew House representative at today’s launch as having been “inspired by the vintage aesthetic that is Los Angeles and its decades past.”
Indeed, most of the pieces, with their aggressively poor fit and copious use of corduroy, will be instantly familiar to anyone who was broke and tasteless in the mid-1990s. The label’s logo, if it can be called that, is simply the word “drew” in a lowercase font seemingly picked at random from a grab bag of Windows 98-era Word Art.
In what must surely represent the apotheosis of apathy in the arena of graphic design, many of the line’s shirts and hats feature a smiley face (well, the smiley face) with its mouth replaced by “drew.”
The line is so astoundingly awful, in fact, that it legitimately begs the question of whether the entire thing is meant to be a joke.
If so, we are surely the butt. Bieber first launched the clothing line in January, and has aggressively marketed it with his wife, model and TV personality Hailey Baldwin. Since then, items have routinely sold out, with their exorbitant prices seemingly no deterrent.
The pop-up shop at 36 Cochrane Street will run through Sunday and, according to WWD, will feature 18 unisex items, including corduroy pieces, bucket hats, and baseball shorts. (Bucket hats? God, we can smell the ’90s coming off of that!) Prices range from US$20 to US$200.
Hong Kong pic.twitter.com/SNBgCXWHuz
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) March 29, 2019
The pop-up, for anyone who actually gives a shit, has been designed to resemble an old-school video rental store, and also offers these charming hotel slippers with a smiley face on them, which, if you’re anything like The Biebs, you will wear outside.
Bieber is best known for penning earworms like Sorry and Baby (at one time also known as the most disliked video on YouTube), in addition to generally acting like an entitled brat everywhere he went.
But on Monday, the baby-faced YouTube sensation-turned-bad boy-turned-born-again Christian took to social media to reveal that he’d be taking a break from music, saying he needed to focus on his mental health, his marriage, and the big guy upstairs.
So I read a lot of messages saying you want an album .. I’ve toured my whole teenage life, and early 20s, I realized and…
Well, that’s good, Biebsy; you do that, man. It’s going to take a lot of praying to make up for those damn slippers.