Bad. I-Dea. Doo doo doo doo doo doo!: ‘Baby Shark’ musical coming to a theater near you

Doo doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. Screengrab via YouTube.

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if someone stretched a two-minute children’s song whose most-sung lyric, by far, is “doo doo doo doo doo doo” into a 70-minute musical extravaganza?

No? Well, it doesn’t matter. If you have young children, you’re going to find out anyway.

Tickets are now on sale for the live musical adaptation of the wildly popular (and wildly repetitive) kid song “Baby Shark,” which hits the stage April 20 and 21 at Star Hall.

The show is a tender coming-of-age tale about the playful yet headstrong Baby Shark, who goes missing, setting in motion a chain of events that gives meaning to the old saying “it takes a (sea-dwelling) village.”

We assume.

You could be forgiven for finding it hard to divine the song’s narrative arc given that it chiefly comprises singers repeating the various names of members of Baby Shark’s family (i.e. Mommy Shark), then singing “doo doo doo doo doo doo.”

Though, spoiler alert, it does conclude with the lyrics “safe at last” (doo doo doo doo doo doo).

The ticketing website offers a somewhat more expansive description of the plot, which is sure to anger purists, who prefer simply hearing “Daddy Shark” repeated in a soothing baritone (doo doo doo doo doo doo).

According to the synopsis, once Baby Shark goes missing, Daddy Shark immediately enlists the help of Pinkfong, who is described on his website as “an adorable prince from planet Staria with boundless curiosity!” (For the more literal-minded, however, Pinkfong is also described on his website as an educational content production brand aimed at children and based in South Korea.)

Pinkfong and his pals brave various dangers in their search for Baby Shark, but prevail thanks to Pinkfong’s magic necklace, ultimately delivering, we assume, Baby Shark home “safe at last” (doo doo doo doo doo doo).

So here’s the thing, parents: yes, you could conceivably avoid telling your children about this event, thereby avoiding having to go yourself. But what if your adorable little kiddos hear about it from the other kids at day care whose parents did take them?

If that happened, God help you.

God. Help. You! Doo doo doo doo doo doo! God help you! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!

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