Drinking and water don’t really go together.
We like to think they do and foolishly suggest it – make sure to hydrate when you’re drinking — like that’s going to happen when you’re six jaegerbombs in and face-down on the pavement. But we make a spirited effort to mix the two – in our vodka sodas, on our junk trips and, of course, at our pool parties.
Yes, pool parties. The only middle school thing that gets funner (it’s a word, damn it) as you age because 1: alcohol and 2: girls have breasts. “Hey I’m going to hang out with a bunch of chicks in their panties,” will make you sound like a creep/ But, “hey I’m going to a pool party” is totally ok, even though they’re the exact same thing.
And in the spirit of journalism and for, uh, no ulterior motives whatsoever, I headed to SHOCK WAVE, The W Hotel Pool Party Summer Series, to see what’s what.
A quick overview of Hong Kong pool parties: you’ve got the Macau ones, Splash (Hard Rock) and Hed Kandi (Venetian), Beatship in international waters, and Shock Wave in Hong Kong. There are of course a few one-offs (Jack Wills Pool Party) and some at the private clubs, but I’ve learned my lesson not to write about places where everyone has an annoying English accent and you can’t get in.
So if you’re on the island and not on a boat, the only alcohol/water combo you’re going to find is Shock Wave or a dunkaroo. Luckily that’s okay because the former run a tight ship – and I did mean to make that pun, which, if you think about it, is super dumb because there aren’t any ships in pool parties.
Here’s how it went down: I showed up at the W at 10pm, which meant it was crowded but still manageable, like LKF at 7:15pm on a Friday. I got my wristband and checked my stuff, which is great because I always leave things places, like I left my shoes at the gym today. I just thought you should know that.
I took the elevator up to the 76th floor to the pool and entered to find a giant Absolut Vodka ice sculpture. Next to it was a girl in a floral dress telling everyone to take shots. That sounded reasonable. The pool was behind, and to the left and right there were duelling bars.
Oh yeah, and there were A LOT of girls in bikinis scoping out guys. The ratio of tattoos to non-tattoos was 1:1, or the exact same ratio as white guys with trimmed chest hair vs. Asian guys with no chest hair.
Everyone had blue wristbands except hotel guests who had either come for the party or just to chill and be quietly shocked at what was going on. A few people, including me, had splurged on green wristbands, which besides for matching well with my swim trunks offered entry into an area that had free drinks.
I was originally unsure if I should go for the open bar, but in retrospect it was 100 percent the right idea. More than any party you go to, get the open bar ticket for a pool party. It just makes good financial sense.
Let’s say you only plan on spending HKD500 on a night out. Guess what’s going to happen? 1: you’ll get moderately drunk, 2: you’ll want to spend more now that you’re moderately drunk, 3: girls have breasts (sorry perhaps that was a different list. I forget). You know you’ll end up spending HKD1-2k anyway, so why not admit your high-functioning alcoholism and commit to a night of debauchery properly.
And there’s no place better to do this than at a pool party – you’re stripped down to your bare essentials and only powered by alcohol, house music, and the ability to fall literally face first into a pool of water. With a wristband you don’t need a wallet or a phone (best not post the shame for all to see, lads) and the party’s not so large that you can’t find your friends anyway. It’s basically a no worries situation.
Because anywhere you can be drunk and truly irresponsible with no comeuppance is a good place.
NEXT W POOL PARTY: Sept. 19. See you there.
Got a tip? Send it to us at hongkong@coconuts.co.
