There’s a weird phase in one’s life when you think, “I’m too old to go clubbing but too young to hang in a quiet bar. So what do I do?”
Some of us head to those places irrespective, clinging to dreams of our 16-year-old selves and the first club we snuck into. Others 180 and head straight to a speakeasy and explain to anyone unfortunate enough to be near them the difference between six identical-tasting bottles of scotch. A final group throws in the towel and heads home by 8:30pm, presumably to watch a movie or have phone sex with whoever will pick up their long-distance call.
For me – now 31 – and my friends suffering from Peter Pan syndrome, I’ve decided to reclaim my youth by going back to high-school. In spirit, I mean. The court order prevents actually returning.
I want some music, some activity, but not a douchey library with HKD160 cocktails or a club with ALL THAT BASS.
My current in-between spot is Racks (Winning Centre, 46-48 Wyndham Street), which feels exactly like high school. The staff can sometimes be dicks, but it’s okay because you can be a dick right back.
Racks offers such high-class games as “Beer Pong” and “Flip Cup”, where teams line up to throw ping pong balls into cups or to drink and flip cups. I can’t believe I had to explain that to you, but we are in Hong Kong.
Flip Cup and Beer Pong were huge at high-school and college (when I was there) due to the factors of alcohol, competition and girls with large breasts who lean over the table as they throw a ping pong ball and everyone stares. Again, I understand why people in Hong Kong may be confused by this.
Drinking sports require important introspection, like “what’s my optimal level of drunkenness to play this game?” Through the years I’ve learned that at four cocktails I’m a freaking assassin… but normally when we start I’m at 10 drinks.
I scored an own goal the last two games I’ve played, which meant somebody tried to throw a ball in a cup, the ball hit the cup rim, bounced out, hit me, then bounced back in. It was very embarrassing, to say the least, especially when you have a Danish guy for a partner screaming “HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN!”
Racks fun started out as ironic fun – “look at us 30 somethings not in a club but just throwing ping pong balls and cheering!” – but now we’re completely in. I’m about 10 games from getting us matching shirts the way emasculated middle-aged men get bowing league jerseys to feel like they’re part of a community.
Some slogan ideas – “What Came First – the Pong or the Beer?”; “It’s All About Gettin’ in them Holes”; “Can Your Team Handle Two Balls at Once?”
Some rival beer pong spots have now opened, like Billidarts in Wan Chai. I didn’t think it was possible to make beer pong not fun, but Billidarts was able to convince me I was wrong.
They put in a 10-minute time limit, have a ref blow a whistle and move the cups around, and constantly tell people where to go and when to throw. This isn’t a decathlon guys; it’s balls and drinking. Chill out and have rules that aren’t completely confounding.
Anyway, my point is: NEVER GO TO BILLIDARTS.
My other points: here’s how your party life changes as you age
-Teens: House parties / raves
-College: Frat parties / concerts
-20s: Nightclubs / dancing / concerts
-30s: Cocktail bars / concerts
-40s: Dinner parties / concerts for the reunion tour of a band that was popular when you were young
-50s: Forget it
So right now I’m in the cocktail bar moment and hanging out at a high school-inspired spot. Part fun, part nostalgia: the memory of my triple flaming lambo nights.
College throwback beer pong won’t solve everything. But it’s a start. And thankfully every year in Hong Kong we have the Sevens where young and old alike go full grade school (but with more kissing!).
Yalun Tu is a writer based in Hong Kong. He wrote The Straight Man column for HK Magazine, and TV scripts for HBO Asia, Channel V, and Fox Movies Premium. You can contact him at yalun.tu@gmail.com or @yaluntu on Twitter.
