Contrary to the image of Thailand as one big red-light district, many Thai people are conservative. The younger generation struggles with their parents to define their own values.
An anonymous 25-year-old woman yesterday turned to Pantip, a popular Thai forum, after her mom found condoms in her purse and expressed her disappointment by calling her daughter a “free sample.”
“If you found condoms in your daughter’s purse, would you be disappointed?” the woman titled the thread.
“I’m 25 years old. I have a box of condoms in my purse that has been opened. My mom found it. She was very upset and she called me a ‘free sample.’”
“I’m also very upset. I feel like I’m a bad person. All I can do is cry. I feel so guilty.”
To reveal more about how traditional her background is, the woman wrote that she, “does not drink, smoke, or go to nightclubs” and she hopes these “good qualities” will still make her worthy in her mom’s eyes.
“My mom told me not to do it again. I asked her if my other good qualities could ever make her feel that I’m worthy again. She said she didn’t understand, and she would never understand.”
The post has received attention across social media as Thais flocked to the forum to express their opinions on the sensitive matter. In 2016, is sex before marriage still taboo?
The majority of people applauded the woman for being safe, but many of them seem to think that sex is only acceptable when two people are in a relationship and no longer in school.
“I’d be happy if my daughter learned to use protection. Go tell your mom that only prostitutes collect payment for sex,” the top comment said.
“If you used the condom with your boyfriend, then that’s good. But if you used it with just any guy, that would be hard [for your mom] to accept,” a woman said.
“If my daughter was in high school and carried a condom, I’d be disappointed. If she was in college, I’d be shocked. But if she already had a job, I’d be happy,” another top comment said.
However, a lot of people, including women, still think the woman’s number of sex partners defines her value.
“You should be conservative. If you’re too easy, your value will keep dropping. You can’t just date and sleep with all of them. What would your husband-to-be say if he found out you’ve slept with many guys?” a comment said.
Some comments are a little extreme, with one comment suggesting women who have one-night-stands could use an “attitude adjustment.”
“Having sex with one person is not a bad thing, but women who have sex with multiple guys are worse than prostitutes. At least prostitutes make money, but these women would have sex with someone they know less than a month,” one man wrote.
“They need many sessions of attitude adjustment,” he added.
The lack of sex education and the rising number of teen pregnancies seem to explain the thoughts of other commenters in the thread, who said women should not carry condoms because it’s the man’s duty.
“I have a daughter. I think you’re trying too hard by carrying a condom. It’s like you’re making it convenient for the guy. The guy should be the person who carries a condom,” a woman wrote.
“A woman should not carry a condom in her purse. If my daughter did this, I’d be disappointed. Condoms are for men to carry,” another woman wrote.
In conclusion, compared to the West, the older generation of Thais seem to be largely conservative, and the gap between them and the younger generation is more prominent. After all, it all depends on each person’s background.
“There’s a huge generation gap between moms and daughters. Daughters might think everybody is doing it, but it’s a matter of life and death for their moms, especially if their moms were married before they started having sex. Then they would expect their daughters to follow the same path,” the top comment said.
