When I was 17, I used to love dressing up in my skimpiest outfits and getting my Aguilera on in the cage of my local club. These days my idea of what’s sexy has changed a little, but, when given half a chance (and half a bottle of Sang Som), I still like to wiggle my butt and swish my sweaty hair around in clubs. So, when the opportunity to pole dance at Rumpuree World Dance Studio, I was all over it.
The website said to wear stretchy shorts, so I slipped into my most provocative and sensual cycling shorts and went along to Thursday’s 6pm introductory class (there are numerous classes throughout the week, aimed at levels from intro to advanced).
Four newbies and four (relative) veterans made up the class. We started off with some easy yogic stretches followed by instructions from Maria, our teacher, for how to walk around the pole and turn. Her instructions were brilliant and even I, with all the coordination of a drunk hippo, managed to get it down and not feel entirely unsexy whilst doing it.
Then the class got harder. We were asked to swing backwards around the pole. We were asked to climb up the pole. We were asked to put together the sequence of movements we’d learned as a routine. Unfortunately, I hadn’t mastered anything further than walking around the pole (although I did manage to haul myself up it one time before squeakily sliding back down), so I mainly just stood next to my one and only prop trying not to look awkward. I was the only one in the class who couldn’t get a handle on the most basic of pole-based acrobatics, a fact that I found mortifying. I’m not sure if it was my sweaty limbs, a lack of technique or just that my heart wasn’t in it, but I couldn’t seem to manage.
Being an intro class, I hadn’t worried about not keeping up – after all, I am strong and flexible and I clocked hours of cage dancing during my teenage years. All I was concerned about was that I’d look like a fool when I tried to be sexy (it doesn’t come naturally to me when sober) and that I’d bruise my thighs trying to shimmy up and down the pole. But, alas, I never even managed to work myself into a position where injuries might be an issue.
Sadly, I didn’t experience the kind of camaraderie I expected from a class where I’m trying (and failing) to slinkily accomplish a series of aerial manoeuvres. Instead, the women in the class kept to themselves, despite Maria’s banter and her reassurance that nobody takes to the pole and works it like a pro during their first class. Everyone else was alarmingly serious while taking part in an activity I assumed would be viewed as a bit of a giggle.
I must stress that, while this class wasn’t for me (I don’t like anything I’m not good at instantly), the instruction was brilliant and I was relieved that there was very little emphasis on “sexiness.” The cues were focused almost entirely on technique.
Even so, I declared that I’d never go back. Curiously enough, all my male friends were insistent that I should go back and try again. After all, practice makes perfect.
Difficulty rating: 4/5
FIND IT:
Rumpuree World Dance Studio
Amarin Plaza, Chitlom
THB500 per class. Packages available
