If you are a paranoid, ethically challenged, native English-speaking man with a Thai significant other, ThaiSpy has got your back.
Offering a service which can’t possibly be legal unless your initials are N.S.A., ThaiSpy completely removes any pretense of a private, inner-life for your partner by not only tracking every detail of their life but also translating Thai language and idioms for you.
After all, you’ve only lived here three years and committed to a cross-cultural relationship, so it’s not like anyone expects you to learn more than nid noi.
Here are some of the features:
· ThaiSpy is available not only for Android and iOS, but even Blackberry for really old-school dudes. (Or just old.)
· ThaiSpy runs in totally undetectable stealth mode. After all, you’re not the one trying to hide anything, amirite?
· Records all data communications. Because who knows what dirty Thai secrets (s)he’s hiding in that Google spreadsheet?
· Records all phone conversations and allows users to eavesdrop on live phone calls. Hell, it even lets you turn on the mic at any time and listen in to whatever is going on. Yeah, that’s gotta be pretty illegal pretty much everywhere.
· Prepares English translations of Thai messages culled from Line, WhatsApp, WeChat, Facebook, email and SMS. If this is anything like most automated translation services, be prepared for pages of baffling, post-modern poetry.
· Tracks GPS locations, which apps are used and web history.
ThaiSpy is “For close boyfriends or distant sugar daddies of women who need to know they are being honored and appreciated,” according to its web site. Maybe someone will develop ThaiSpyVsSpy to guard against being equally “honored” by the underhanded deceit made possible by the service. We thought the future of sex was going to be all VR and lovebots, not paranoid police-state tactics.
But apparently there’s a deficit of trust in the Land of Smiles. As Tech in Asia notes in its report, the service squarely targets Thai women, who are also faulted as the second-worst cheaters in the world, according to a condom-maker’s assuredly scientific study. Of course this totally ignores the fact men were No. 1.
If that sounds a little racist to you – don’t worry, they’re planning to expand the service to the Philippines soon.
If it sounds a little misogynistic, well, that might be because it is.
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