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So you’ve been sitting around all day at work, not working, and thinking, “what would I do with an army of robots?” And thinking further (because you’ve also spent some of your workday reading the latest riffs on technological singularity theory, with a spreadsheet a click away in case the boss walks by), what if I could upload my consciousness to a robot?

So have we, and if you’re guessing we have made a list of things you could do with these abilities, your correct.

Speak and be heard

Some theorists claim that the technological singularity is inevitable, that eventually artificial intelligence will reach par level with human intelligence, and because of its superior circuitry, quickly surpass us – and that, human intelligence and human life in general will merge with this technology to create a new race of super-humans. YES!

But what would you do with this ability? Let’s be nice – you’d use your artificial circuitry to improve your human condition and work that wicked brain to learn any and every language whenever you want, and at the snap of a finger. Imagine the benefits seamless communication could have in a global city like Bangkok, where on any given street corner you’ll not be surprised to hear three or four different languages being spoken at once.

Of course, this would make gossip and other forms of deviant conversational behavior more difficult, if not impossible, but that’s OK – you’re a Good Person.

Getting around

Imagine a world in which everything you want is yours, yours, YOURS! What do you want? Argh, that age-old stumper, the anxiety of decision, the fear of making the wrong choice. Don’t worry, we’ll make it for you. And we will make the assumption that you live in Bangkok, or at least stay in the fair City of Angels on a regular basis (if you don’t, keep reading anyway, if for nothing else, just “because”), and that you frequently use public transportation and don’t dare get behind the wheel and test your mettle on the city’s notorious roads.

No. You are Taxi Rider, and you keep sealed up within you a boiling cauldron rage, because none of the seven billion taxi drivers in the city will take you where you need to go. Problem solved: upload yourself to the server and get connected, man, because in post-singularity Bangkok,  into a you could just think the good thoughts and tap into wireless connections with taxi drivers, thus foregoing the painful act of leaning in, being waved away, and silently raging inside. Imagine, Bangkok, in a perfect world where you will a taxi driver to arrive, accept your fare, and whisk you away to your cozy little condo, and it happens just like that – every fucking time.

Too good to be true? Maybe it is, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Dear readers, we ask you to submit to us your ideas of how you could best become a bionic Bangkokian and post away in the comments section. In the meantime, for inspiration, check out the film “Chappie” on Primetime TV, which ponders these very questions.

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