HOT MESS – I read and hear a lot of stuff about why dating Thai guys is a bad idea. Generally these complaints have to do with cheating or jealousy. Personally, I’ve experienced both with Thai men, but I still think dating expats is far more fraught with drama.
I can only go on my experiences, so I am by no means saying all expats are the same because that’s obviously ridiculous.
But, many farang guys I know gorge on women like they’re at an all you can eat buffet. I understand it; when there are so many beautiful women, many of whom find your freckles and gingery beard exotic, it’s easy to feel like a king. And act like a demi-god.
But Bangkok is certainly a different experience for women than it is for men.
I can reel off a list as long as your arm about happy couples who moved here and then split when the guy realised he could pick up a younger, hotter girl. And who can blame him for that? I couldn’t swear I wouldn’t do the same if the tables were turned. In Bangkok it’s easy for men to do very well for themselves indeed. For farang women, on the other hand, it’s often the other way round. We stay single or we have to make a few concessions. Or, we date Thai men, which I find the favourable option.
After only dating Thai men for the past two years (not a conscious decision, by the way), I sometimes find the approaches of farang men a little bit abrupt now. For instance, a friend of mine hooked up with an Australian guy recently and his pick-up line was all about the large snake in his pants. Ick. It was among the least subtle and sexy intros I’ve ever heard.
I suppose this is just a cultural difference, but I’ve noticed that the language that farang men use is a bit more coarse. Whether I’m on Twitter or in bars, I get spoken to in the most forward of terms. Just a few weeks ago I was having a conversation with a farang man old enough to be my father. It was all small-talk and harmless until he blurted out ‘do your pubes match your hair colour?’ He was then surprised when I rejected his friend request on Facebook.
I even find that some farang men (thankfully few and far between) get verbally aggressive when you’re not interested in them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had farang men make rude accusations about the genitalia of local guys when I politely tell people I’m with another man and I’m not interested. I wish this kind of thing was an isolated incident. I’ve never had that anywhere but Bangkok, which could mean I’ve been especially unlucky here or, it could mean that farang men are so used to getting what they want that they are shocked and angry when a lady isn’t interested.
