It follows
Well here’s a new one. This film’s about a supernatural spirit that has haunted a girl ever since a sexual encounter.
Seriously?! Is this a horny ghost or a slut-shaming ghost? Apparently this film falls under the genre of horror, but the plot seems more fitting of comedy.
Maggie
Arnold Schwarzenegger in a non-action film? Well that’s new, considering what we’ve seen of his actual acting talent, at least before he took the role of an uninspiring politician.
In “Maggie,” the former Governator of California plays the father of a teenage girl who becomes infected with a vicious disease that turns people into flesh-eating zombies. Throughout the transformation, he takes care of his daughter himself instead of letting her rot in quarantine.
The father-daughter-zombine relationship seems right out of one of 2013’s best games, “The Last of Us,” but with worse acting. I’d expect dissapointment because Hollywood. And at some point Arnold has to say “Ahll be bahk” to collect his zillion-dollar paycheck.
Barely Lethal
An ex-spy disguised as a “normal teenager” fakes her own death in order to enroll in a suburban high school. She learns that the high school life wasn’t what she expected and faces challenges of a “normal teenager.”
So apparently she fakes her death to go to another high school and finds out it’s not what she thought it would be? Sucks to be her. But on a serious note, I hate these identical movies about vampires, assassins, superheroes and the like suffering through the “nightmare of a normal adolescence” in high school. High school may suck, but it’s not actually HARD.
The DUFF
Oh look, another movie about how shitty high school is.
“The DUFF” apparently stands for “Designated Ugly Fat Friend” and is about a girl labeled as such at her school who seeks to reform the social hierarchy. It’s got Feel Good Movie of the Year written all over it, in fact, they should have just called it that, or FGMY.
I don’t know about you, but this film reminds me of “Mean Girls,” except shittier. I seriously don’t understand why they make so many films about teenagers in high school, especially when nobody cares what goes on in high school except high school teachers and pedophiles.
Steak (R)evolution
A documentary about a road trip to find the best steak in the world. Food movie. Nothin’ much to say about it beside it’ll probably provide your daily dose of food porn.
Love Sucks
“Love Sucks.” And so does this movie, I predict.
A woman who gets cheated on by her douchey jock boyfriend after they’ve been dating for five years. She finds someone new and faces the dilemma of having to choose between the past or move on with the new guy.
Pretty standard Thai lakorn we’re dealing with here. Then you might ask, should I watch this? Will I learn something relevant to my life or get my money’s worth in entertainment?
No, just no.
