The fascinator, like the “waterfall” and the “fireplace,” serves as a sterling example of the English language’s preferance for literalism
You may spend 90% of your time wearing jeans and t-shirts, but that’s no reason to not have a wardrobe full of the beautiful and impractical. Even if you never wear them outside your apartment, these wardrobe additions should be kept permanently on hand.
Huge Wig
There’s really nothing like a big wig to make you feel brand new. Whether you opt for a short pink bob, flowing brown curls or a huge blonde bouffant, wearing a wig makes you instantly feel like a diva. Even if you’re just slouching around your flat in undies and a vest, a great wig makes you feel as though you’re doing it with incredible style. It’s impossible to not feel chic in a wig. Impossible.
False Eyelashes
If you’re going to wear false eyelashes, forget choosing ones that will look natural, because, let’s face it, natural eyelashes are really modest and boring. No, you want eyelashes that obscure your vision and flutter in the breeze when you’re on the back of a motorsai; you want eyelashes that give your eyelids a strength-training workout. When it comes to false lashes, bigger is better. For extra points, wear several pairs at once.
Spike Stilettos
Every girl needs a pair of heels that hurt so much that even sitting down in them makes you wince. Unless you’re a real pro (in which case, kudos), these are best saved for particularly fierce occasions, e.g. parties where you’re likely to run into your ex. As a rule of thumb for choosing the correct pair, they should be the highest you can possibly stand in, have a perilously thin heel and the word “fierce” should be the first that pops into your head when you look at them.
Ball Gown
There are probably very few times in your life when you’ll get to wear a ball gown, but it’s often enough to just have one in your wardrobe to stare at longingly. There are times when every girl needs to open her wardrobe and be reassured she’s got a hugely glamorous life and just the thought that you might one day have the chance to wear such a beautiful garment should do the trick. The more impractical the better; opt for full length styles in a fabric that’s nearly impossible to clean, such as heavily beaded silk.
Curious Headgear
Fruit headbands, drag queen headdresses, huge hats and fascinators all fit into this category. Wear them with pride and you will always look stunning but remember the golden rule of headwear: Never, ever let anyone else try it on because you’ll never get it back (Bangkok Fabulous has a cupboard full of hats she’s accidentally stolen) and you’ll expose your terrible hat hair.
