I ate Burger King’s new chocolate hamburger so you don’t have to

Bangkok’s fast food scene has a new weird food, and today I have returned from the beefy, chocolatey mess to confirm that, yes, it is an ungodly combination.

From the Things We Never Asked for Department come Chocolate Whoppers at Burger King this week as the new “I dare you” meal for mastication masochists.

The quirky combo of choc and bun is a THB129 collab between Burger King and Hershey’s that also includes choco french fries (THB109), chocolate milkshakes (THB80), and a chocolate pie (THB39).

So how was it?

This intrepid reporter ordered one Choco burger with a side of choco fries for some afternoon shame-eating. The first thing to note was, instead of the juicy amalgamation of cheese and chocolate goop pictured in the ad, a sad and crumpled burger gazed back. Brown sauce smudged the white wrapper in a way reminiscent of some very unfortunate associations.

Photo: Nicky Tanskul / Coconuts

The first bite didn’t really have much chocolate, just the expected bun and patty taste. The buns, while a little darker than usual, did not taste as chocolatey as one would expect.

By the third bite, a splurge of chocolate sauce joined in the medley of veggies and crispy flaky white onions. It tasted like a Whopper, but with chocolate. So, truth in advertising? The net effect was a clash of lunch and dessert all at once. If that strikes anyone as a good thing, it is not.

During the forced chewing that ensued, flashbacks of other poor life decisions zipped through my mind along with one overarching question: Why would anyone subject themselves to this?

Photo: Nicky Tanskul / Coconuts

The fries came all drizzled in chocolate, inviting more unfortunate scatalogical associations. The sweet sauce flavor was shattered by the sudden savory flavor of fries, making for a completely jarring experience.

All in all, they were even less appetizing than the chocoburger and should have stayed on the drawing board.

After that, an attempt to wash my poor choices down with Coca-Cola did not stop my stomach from rumbling or allay a growing feeling of nausea.

However, if none of that discourages you from needing to experience this first hand, the choco menu be available until March 31 at Burger Kings across Thailand except for certain areas such as Phi Phi, Phuket, and Samui islands.

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