COCONUTS CRITIC’S TABLE – Faced with the worst hangover Bangkok can throw at you, what’s the best way to cure what ails you? Simple. Round up some pals – if you have any left after whatever you did last night – and head straight to Ratchaprasong Intersection. There you’ll find the Erawan Shrine, Thailand’s most famous spirit house, where devotees flock to make wishes and lay down offerings to Brahma. You could, of course join them in their devotion, begging: “Please, Lord Brahma, though it be my own doing, I beseech you: make my head better.” But one shouldn’t waste a god’s time like that.
Instead, slink round the corner to Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao on Rachadamri Road. Randomized double-blind tests – which here means “some meals” – have convinced me that this barely pronounceable Singaporean emporium is Bangkok’s most effective hangover cure. Or more specifically: Bangkok’s most effective hangover cure that doesn’t involve supernatural intervention – or more booze.
One of three Crystal Jade branches in the capital, it’s easy to miss Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao, since it’s secreted away below street level. Heading down the stairs, you’ll find a sober-looking Chinese restaurant. But the lighting is soft, the service unobtrusive and, crucially, there are booths – ideal for those who fear the judging eyes of more upstanding citizens.
Here, a well-chosen spread will deliver the greasy pork fat fix that seems so attractive to the until-recently-drunk, while adding a level of sophistication absent in, say, a full English breakfast. (Muslim readers: if you feel alienated by this booze-sodden, swine-scoffing article, I apologize; normal service will resume next week.)
I’m probably gushing. But that’s only because I’m genuinely super keen on Crystal Jade and its fiery Sichuan noodle soups and its xiao long bao (THB85), Shanghai soup dumplings that burst in the mouth and ooze a gutsy pork broth all over your tonsils. And I gush, too, because the price you pay for all this is eminently reasonable. If you can’t gush about value for money in these hard-stretched times, what can you gush about?
It’s those spicy, invigorating noodle soups that excite the most. Take la mian in Sichuan style (THB145), for example, which shows off those classic Sichuan flavors of chilli and sesame and combines them with firm and doughy Shanghainese noodles. A dusting of shrimp flakes rounds the dish off with pleasing sweetness.
Those excellent noodles also carry the la mian with spring onion oil (THB125). It’s a simple offering – just those firm strands drizzled with oil and topped with fried spring onions and shrimp flakes. You might say it’s the Chinese equivalent of spaghetti aglio e olio. And it’s mighty fine. Also bringing Italian cuisine to mind is the hot and spicy la mian with Sichuan preserved vegetable and minced pork (THB145). The flatter noodles in this dish uncannily resemble tagliatelle; tackling the bowl is a load of brow-wiping fun.
On a different tip, the Shanghai-style pancakes are also worthy of a look. You’re served four toasted sesame “pockets” with a fried meat dish to fill them with. The moreish sauteed prawn with egg (THB190), flavored with sesame oil and soy, impressed us. Other fillings include minced beef with corn and an intriguing-sounding diced duck breast meat with pine seeds. And while we’re at it, the pork ribs aren’t bad either – plenty of meat, nice and greasy.
Combing through the menu, you might come across the page of corporate spiel on Crystal Jade Culinary Concepts Holding, the entity that owns the place. “Over nineteen years of strategic development, the group has grown to be Singapore’s leading food and beverages company,” one sentence reads. It’s not often you read a phrase like that in a restaurant that serves superb food. Nice work, you corporate bastards. Now where did I leave that bloody mary?
Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Bao
Lower Ground Floor, Erawan Bangkok
02-25-7988
http://www.crystaljadethai.com/xiao-long-pao.html
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Coconut’s Critic’s Table reviews are written based on unannounced visits by our writers and paid for by Coconuts Bangkok. No freebies here.
Follow Dan Waites on Twitter: @DanWaites
