Every Singaporean’s been through it. Doesn’t matter if it’s Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, Deepavali or Christmas — every occasion that sees the gathering of family members and relatives will always feature annoying little slights and offensive offhand comments directed at you. All with the familial ‘best intentions’ of course.
Sean Koh and a couple of his friends however are here to tell every one of you that you are not alone in the hellhole of microaggressions. With the help of Google Docs, he and his friends crowdsourced 30 (as of writing) whole pages of instances where offending statements and questions were uttered during Chinese New Year gatherings. They even came up with a system for upvoting the entries, such is the extreme relatability of it all.
“I’m compiling a list of power plays and microaggressions thinly disguised as harmless CNY banter about ‘your boy/ girl’,” Lim writes in the introduction to the document. “One day, when civil society looks back upon the atrocities committed in the past, they will find this document useful.”
Do continue to add on to the list, and check out the whole shebang on the ever-expanding document. Below are just a few highlights that really hit us hard in the gut:
– GAHMEN VERY UNFAIR DON’T LET MY SON BUY HDB, SAY HE EARNING TOO MUCH, AIYOH
– *DRAMATIC APPLE WATCH WRIST FLICK*
– “MY FRIEND’S SON REAL DOCTOR” (suffered by my brother who is studying to be a vet)
– “MY SON CAN GIVE YOUR SON TUITION”
– “Your Malay girlfriend where?”
– You studying IT ah? IT not good, next time the Indians take over your job.
– You eat so many love letters won’t get real one la
– Wah no honours not scared cannot find job ah? Later become road sweeper how?
– My husband is a plastic surgeon. He can make your daughter more presentable.
– Brings GF/BF from another race…. “Who is this, why got malay/indian here”
– Aiyoh, you put on weight, is it? (Later during lunch/dinner) Aiyoh, don’t waste food eat some more lah! You’re still young!
– ah boy, why your girlfriend skirt so short? later my boy boy see already nose bleed how?
EDIT: We wrongly accredited the conception of the idea to Ryan Lim, which was totally incorrect! Gah. Deepest apologies to Sean Koh and friends; we’ve amended the piece accordingly.
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