YAASS QUEEN. These are the last couple of days till Christmas, and just another week or so to finish off 2016. We’ll skip the part where people usually say it’s been an unusually shitty year. 

Another year means another list of our top stories that’ve captured your attention in the last 12 months. One way we’re taking stock of our year in review is looking back through our analytics to see the best performing pieces that we’ve published in 2016. Disregard the number of visible shares on the page itself — our social media share buttons are pretty wonky — and just trust that our internet overlord Google has drummed up these stories as the most viewed ones this year. 

So! Here’s an epic #ThrowbackThursday to send you off into the Coconuts Singapore abyss. 

News

After losing suit against SAF, mother of NSman who died during training makes a defeated plea

It had been more than three years of taking the Singapore Armed Forces to court to answer for the death of young Dominique Sarron Lee, but the end was just as depressing as how it started. The 21-year-old national serviceman had died in 2012 during a training exercise due to an allergic reaction to smoke grenades — of which was argued to be used in excess. The lengthy court battle however ended in tears for the Lee family, and his mother made a heartbreaking, defeated letter to her deceased son. 

Son of Malaysian prime minister allegedly cuts Aly & Fila DJ set at Zouk so that he can perform

Egyptian trance DJ Fila now no longer wants to play at iconic nightclub Zouk anymore. Why? Because apparently the club’s management asked him to cut his set short just to let Norashman Najib — son of Malaysian prime minister Najib Razak — have a go on the decks. 

Photo project about beautiful women from different countries annoys the ugly people of Singapore

Despite it being freakin’ 2016, some folks still aren’t on board with a pretty elementary concept called diversity. A Romanian photographer had dropped by our shores to capture gorgeous portraits of women from all around the world, and snapped a picture of local model Nadia Rahmat to represent Singapore. Alas, some opined that she did not represent the “true Singapore” and that the portrayal was “inaccurate”. 

Here’s a map of Singapore in its funniest, most politically incorrect form

If there was ever a map that dissects Singapore into its basest form, this would be it — one that charts what each neighbourhood is most popularly known for, good or bad. This map identifies Yishun as a siao lang town, Queenstown is where you get sports shoes, while Holland Village is where the Sarong Party Girls roam. 

SCDF NSF’s account of a day on duty should shame ignorant army boys and members of the public

More often than not, the term ‘National Service’ here is associated with the boys in green (in the Singapore Armed Forces) rather than the lads in blue (the police, firefighters and paramedics in Home Team). Annoyed at lacklustre public perception towards the Home Team, one SCDF national serviceman took to Reddit to tell a compelling account of what he has to go through each day, and how easy SAF boys have it in comparison. 

Food & Drink

For less than $30, you can feast on an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet in Yishun’s ORTO

Yeah we don’t know why this one got 141,413 pageviews on its own. Singaporeans really like all-you-can-eat seafood buffet deals, we guess?

Indulge in free flow oysters, lobsters and sashimi at Pan Pacific Orchard from now till July

Another piece about yet another free flow seafood buffet — but one that’s decidedly atas at Pan Pacific. The theory that Singaporeans really like to read about seafood buffets still stands. 

13 unique salted egg yolk dishes in Singapore

If there’s one trend that defined the local food scene in 2016, it’s salted egg yolk. Yes, yes, we’re all probably sick of hearing (and tasting) the golden sauce, but for a brief moment, EVERYONE begged to know where to find salted egg yolk-infused edibles. 

How buffet restaurants trick you into thinking that you are getting a great deal

Yeap, another piece about buffets — this time deconstructing the reasons why they’re all just one big con. 

See how Geylang Bazaar used to be like way before pretentious hipster stalls took over

Oooh yes we remember this one. The story is a simple enough one showing how Geylang’s Ramadan bazaar used to look like in the ’80s and ’90s — but with an intentionally provocative headline, it turned into a massively polarising one that had traditionalists and millennials fighting with each other on social media. Oh, how we chortled. 

Lifestyle / Culture

A wholesaler at Jalan Rajah is apparently selling authentic perfumes for dirt cheap

In what used to be a secret spot for cheap perfumes, folks got to know about a little-known treasure trove of wallet-friendly perfumes in the industrial district of Jalan Rajah. No idea if Bonjour Cosmetics is still around though. 

Pokémon Go is a no go in Singapore for now, but here’s how you can play it today

Sure, everyone’s played Pokémon GO and probably outgrew the it by now, but in the days before the viral AR game was readily available in Singapore, people were pining to play it. So much so that they pored through our how-to guide on how to utilise loopholes to download the game on their phones.  

Once arrested for vandalism, Sticker Lady writes “My Grandfather Road” across Circular Road

In a (literally) big fuck you to the powers that be that got her into trouble a few years back, street artist Samantha Lo wrote a colossal “My Grandfather Road” all across Circular Road. So big that you could only appreciate it by way of a drone shot. 

This couple drove all the way from Singapore to London — all 54k kilometres

Technically, you don’t need a flight ticket to get to and fro Singapore and London — but rarely do people actually do so. Not for Ben and Sophee Southall, who set out from the UK on their Land Rover and drove all the way here. 

Take a dip in Singapore’s first authentic Japanese onsen at Kallang Wave Mall

The lack of authentic Japanese onsen experience in Singapore was disturbing, and so Yunomori Onsen & Spa decided to open up at Kallang Wave Mall. From what we’ve heard so far, it’s proper legit too. 

Features

Fighting Stage 4 colon cancer through androgyny, drag and self-expression

Back in June, our correspondent went to find out more about Muhammad Khairul Ikhwan — a stage 4 cancer patient who outlived his expected death by months, and fought his illness through art, makeup and androgyny. It was a few months later in August that the 23-year-old succumbed to his ailment. The story of his courage, however, lives on.

How an Australian lady became the first Ang Moh to join Singapore’s oldest Teochew opera troupe

Australian lady Prudence Roberts may seem like a regular tourist just taking the ferry to Pulau Ubin to do some biking, but people don’t know that she’s actually a member of Singapore’s oldest Teochew opera troupe. Our correspondent went along with her to see her perform on stage — in full make-up and costume and all. 

Explainer: Singapore’s Pecker Panic of 1967, when men believed their dicks were disappearing

Back in the ’60s, Chinese Singaporean men were rushing themselves to the hospital with their dicks twirled around chopsticks or secured with clothes pegs. They believed that their peckers were shrinking and disappearing into their bodies. We wish we were making this up. 

Explainer: Yishun’s child-stealing mystery man, hantu kumkum and other Malay-Muslim urban legends

For a while, Yishun residents were panicking about a mysterious and creepy man going around HDB blocks and asking for their children. Of course, it turned out to be fake — but it’s strikingly similar to all the urban legends that’ve held the anxieties of Singapore’s Malay-Muslim community here since decades ago. 

The next presidential election is only for Malay candidates and that feels weird to me, as a Malay

In November, the Prime Minister made the surprising announcement that the next presidential candidate must be Malay. The government had their well-intentioned reasons of course, but as a Malay person, our editor opined that it feels truly discomforting.