Ladies, the time has come! You’ve mastered your duck face, sparrow face, and Kim-K face, and now all you need is a venue worthy of your insta-goodness. Enter the Singapore Grand Prix, Asia’s most exciting party weekend, from Sep 18-20.

Before we dive into it, a note for the girls: this is not a pumps and lipstick, dress neckline down to your waist guide. This is for us girls who like to kick it with the guys, girls who want to party with our girls, and girls who sometimes choose the pumps and lipstick route, with sexy but tasteful necklines.

And that’s exactly how the guide is structured. So here’s your guide to a mindblowing weekend, whether you’re devoted to racing or revelry, fast cars or fast drivers.

Friday: Party with the boys 

EVENT: Grand Prix Race
You can’t start fast and end fast the F1 Weekend (well unless you’re a race-car driver, in which case you probably should do that) so we’re devoting Friday to spend some time with the guys for a weekend primed to accelerate. Get into the spirit of F1 by checking out the time trials with some beers (I’ll have a white wine) with the boys at the Grandstand. The 3-day package ranges from S$258 to $1,288. The race schedule is here but get there around 7pm to avoid screaming car fatigue (SCF affects 1,000 girls annually at the F1 and can only be cured by champagne) unless you’re Fast and Furious Michelle Rodriguez.

MUSIC: Pharrell
After the race, stay in the Grandstand to watch the Singapore debut of our favorite rapper, producer, and “Happy” ambassador in his Singapore. It’s a great opening act to get you in the mood for festivities, and clapping along if that’s what you want to do. Bonus! No wardrobe change needed. This isn’t a Taylor Swift Concert…23:10-00:30, Zone 4, Padang Stage, Grand Prix ticket access.

PARTY: Podium lounge 
…Until it is. Before the clock strikes 11pm, make a quick change — think new top/de-frizz hair — and tell the boys to swap shorts for slacks and head to the Podium Lounge at the Ritz Carlton’s Grand Ballroom which will flaunt glitzy A-list after-partiers, LMFAO’s 8KY 6LU, and Fierce Angel (creator of Hed Kandi, woo dance music!). But the main attraction is DJ Kristian Nairn aka Hodor from Game of Thrones. Swoon to see if he’ll carry you around like Bran. 7 Raffles Ave; +65 6337 8888, www.podiumlounge.com/sg. Entry: $188. Tables: $1,588-$28,888. 

Saturday: Girl’s night out

After a full night of cars and credit cards today is when we relax before the parties. Skip the cars for eats, beats and treats, which will start with rejuvenation. Grab the girls and head out in your biggest don’t-talk-to-me-sunglasses.

TREAT: Espa
It might cost you an arm and a leg but at least your remaining arm and leg will be buffed and beautiful. Espa is located in Sentosa (taxi over) with amazing spa treatments for blissed out (hangover) relief. Try out Singapore’s first authentic Turkish hammam or chillax in one of their onsen-style pools. Resorts World Sentosa, 8 Sentosa Gateway; +65 6577 8880, www.rwsentosa.com.

EAT: Kilo Lounge
As any girl knows, a massage works up an appetite, so forego tonight’s race for dinner at Kilo Lounge. It’s a trendy spot with an array of fusion food. Get a long table with 12 of your girls for catch-up and good convo that will pass the bechdel. The party will pick up as the night goes on so chow down, charge up, and get ready to head back to the city centre to paint the town red. We’ve got two great parties for you tonight. 66 Kampong Bugis; +65 6467 3987, www.kilokitchen.com/lounge.

BEATS: Maroon 5
They’ve come such a long way since “Songs About Jane”, and Adam Levine plus crew are back again by popular request, and sure to perform hits from their latest album V (including “Animals”, “Sugar”, and perhaps some older goldies, like “This Love”). Bring your Moves like Jagger for a Sunday Morning Luckystrike. 23:15-00:30, Zone 4, Padang Stage, Grand Prix ticket access.

DANCE: Ultra Singapore
Note: Make sure you’re dressed up by now. It’s an EDM Saturday night start at the Ultra Singapore music festival where some of the hottest stars will be spinning up a storm at Marina Bay Sands. Skrillex, Nicky Romero and Alesso will get you pumped and dancing. Who said girls can’t fist-pump? Sands Expo and Convention Centre, 10 Bayfront Ave; www.ultrasingapore.com. Entry: $168 general admission, $198 premium admission.

PARTY: Boudoir Noire Presents The Box 
You and the girls will end Saturday with something daring, different and decadent (and probably full of good eye-candy). Famed nightclub The Box will be taking over Singapore’s Capitol Theatre for a feast of theatre, burlesque, erotica and music. Local contact Imaginoire has even brought in Singaporean Cabaret! It’s open bar with cocktails from renowned bar, 28 Hong Kong Street. I can’t really contain my excitement for this gig, because it basically combines everything I’ve ever wanted in a party. 11 Stamford Rd; +65 8283 1446, www.boudoirnoire.com. Entry: $856 with drinks. 

PARTY: Amber Lounge 
Or if you prefer something more swanky: Amber Lounge, a traveling nightclub with events featuring celebrities, socialities, and the F1 drivers who come for the after-party. This year features performances from Apl.de.ap of the Black Eyed Peas and six more DJs from Tel-Aviv to Monte-Carlo. Bask in the open bar and the people watching, as slews of very good-looking attendees are sure to float by en masse. Also, don’t miss the highly anticipated fashion show, featuring… you wished for it, the F1 drivers themselves! The speed demons will be strutting down the runway in Ted Baker’s AW15 collection, get excited. Here’s where you look your best and show them that real girls have the most fun. www.amber-lounge.com, +377 97771634. Entry: $1,200. Tables: $8,000+.

Sunday: Go crazy

I hate that when girls are called crazy. We’re supposed to be relaxed and easy-going for everything, always dressed in 47 inch heels, never complaining, and nice to everyone. And if you break any of those rules, you’re immediately a ‘crazy’ girl. Well, today’s the day to go f***ing crazy for the final day of F1.

EAT: F1 Sunday Brunch at the Raffles Hotel
We’re at the home stretch so imagine you’re Vettel shifting from seventh to eighth gear. Start the day off with a bang at the F1 Sunday Brunch at the Raffles Hotel. Billecart-Salmon champagne in unlimited quantities sounds pretty good to me. Pad that stomach with a giant seafood spread and whatever is on the live carving station so you don’t clock out early. Tiffin Room and Raffles Hotel lobby, 1 Beach Rd; +65 6412 1816, www.raffles.com. $308++. Noon-3pm. Reservation required.

MUSIC: Bon Jovi    
They weren’t named the best touring band four out of the last five years for nothing. Conclude the whirlwind weekend with “It’s My Life”, “Livin’ on a Prayer”, and other songs your boss sings badly at karaoke. And if you love it so much, you can catch his concert in Macau. 22:30- 00:30, Zone 4, Padang Stage, Grand Prix ticket access.

WATCH: F1 Finals at the Swisshotel / Pan Pacific / Mandarin Oriental
The F1 is a night race best viewed from above with a(nother) glass of bubbly, a cocktail dress, and some good looking gents around. So book yourself — or find a friend with — a room at one of the hotels overlooking the circuit: Swisshotel, Pan Pacific or Mandarin Oriental. Take in all the action from above and have a whiskey. That’s right, a whiskey.

FINAL POINT: A Short Outfit Aside 
Everyone will be dressed to the nines in the evenings, so feel free to wear the dress that could launch a thousand ships. It’s been pleading to be worn all season. But don’t forget that you’ll be on your feet dancing all night, so the right footwear is a must. If you can marathon in heels, all the power to you, though wedged sandals may also serve you well, especially as you wander about during the day. I personally bring out the big guns but retreat to my flats before the sun comes up. At the end of the night, we’ll end up trading our killer stilettos for bare feet anyway, so it probably matters not. See you there!

Photo: Amber Lounge