People in Hong Kong don’t really celebrate Thanksgiving, and I don’t understand why not. There’s nothing Hong Kong people love more than gathering in large groups and eating as much as humanly possible. And there’s nothing more that expats love than gathering in large groups and drinking as much as humanly possible (exhibits A-Z: The Sevens).
But I guess that there’s nothing more that Hong Kong people and expats hate more than saying what they’re thankful for. We’re a fast moving city of people who look ahead, run forward, and never stop to appreciate anything in life, unless we can post it on Instagram.
Cynical? Perhaps. True? Absolutely. Annoying structure in an article? Indubitably.
For the uninitiated, or at least non-Americans (Canadian Thanksgiving doesn’t count – sorry), Thanksgiving is when the colonists stopped slaughtering Native Americans for a few days to eat turkey and grains and say what they were thankful for, like “I’m thankful for my family and friends”.
Or “I’m thankful for this new sharpening stone I can use to sharpen my axe when I kill some Native Americans next week”. And the Native Americans were like “dude, I can hear you” and the colonists were like “shhh appreciate the grace of God” and then quietly sharpened their axes.
So to commemorate that fictitious conversation, we gather as families and say what we’re thankful for. So I’d like to share with all of you the things that I’m thankful for this year:
- I’m thankful for my Coconuts editor Crystal Wilde, whose name sounds totally real and not at all like a pornstar.
- I’m thankful that the Sevens still exist. Even if the South Stand is shrinking, that shit would not be allowed to go down anywhere but crazy-super-safe Hong Kong.
- I’m thankful that people actually go out in this city, instead of binge watching Netflix and never interacting with any human beings.
- I’m thankful for dim sum restaurants that are open at 4am.
- I’m thankful for my doorman, Gilbert, who really likes me. Unless he really really doesn’t, in which case I’m thankful for his smiling face that masks the intense hatred he feels for me.
- I’m thankful nobody I really like posts pictures of them doing complex yoga poses on beaches or studios. What’s less yoga lifestyle than posting yoga lifestyle pics constantly?
- I’m thankful that the Whatsapp timestamp lets me stealthfully stalk what time people were last online and last away daily.
- I’m thankful that I’m tall enough to see over Hong Kong crowds, otherwise I’d just assume the MTR was a Deathtrain. Destination: Hell (please somebody make this movie).
- I’m thankful that CY Leung and family are consistently hilarious.
- I’m thankful that Occupy HK happened here, that people care about Hong Kong’s future, and that nobody died or was seriously injured (so far as I know) in the weeks and months it was going on.
- I’m thankful for reaching a deadlift PR and smashing the WOD. Only people who do CrossFit will understand so avoid them like the plague (avoid me too).
- I’m thankful that when I look up mental disorders in the DSM, I seem to exhibit narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies, so the book clearly is wrong because I’m perfect and don’t care about you.
- I’m thankful that standup comedy in Hong Kong doesn’t suck anymore.
- I’m thankful for cultural events – dance shows, HK Storytellers, indie concerts, and whatever the hell the art galleries host.
- I’m thankful for you, the readers, because without you I wouldn’t be here. I mean, like, here on this earth. My only reader is my mom.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!
Yalun Tu is a writer based in Hong Kong. He wrote The Straight Man column for HK Magazine, and TV scripts for HBO Asia, Channel V, and Fox Movies Premium. You can contact him at yalun.tu@gmail.com or @yaluntu on Twitter.
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