The Realist: A Date in the Sky

I’ve lived in Hong Kong for eight years, many of them single, meaning that I’ve been on a lot of dates. 

Some of them were wonderful, like when I arranged a surprise helicopter trip. Some of them were horrible, like when I mistakenly arranged to take a vegan to burgers and learned her favourite activity was “binge-watching TV while my helper cleans my apartment”. 

The worst date I went on was with a woman I met at a club who turned out to be 15 years my senior with two children and in a loveless marriage. Actually, we had Italian food so it was the second worst. The worst was when I actually went to a vegan restaurant.

My dating theory is simple: a date is a story, so tell it well. It can be full of grand gestures of surprise trips to Bali with seafood dinners under the stars. It can be short and sweet with a trampoline park and nearby wonton noodles. But no matter what, the tone must be consistent. 

If you’re in a tuxedo heading to the Tatler Ball, don’t hit up a minibus. You similarly don’t need your suit for the movies, even if you just got off work or are one of those Swedish guys who trick girls into thinking you’re more interesting than you are because you wear a vest and cut your hair terribly short on the sides.

The story should also be one she hasn’t read before. If your first date idea is to pop up to SoHo then grab a drink in LKF, you should probably rethink your life. At best you’re unoriginal, at worst you seem like a commodity. 

“Does he take every girl to this generic place then that generic place?” is a question you don’t want her asking. You want musings like: “Wow I’ve never been here this is cool what an interesting guy when he touched my arm was that like a platonic touch or did it mean something hmm I’ll talk about it later with my friends because I’m not sure and wow I just realised I’ve been thinking about him for the last two days hmmm.” 

Make the date some combination of fun, silly and sexy, and try something non-standard. Some options:

– A picnic
– Atomic bowling
– A spicy wings challenge
– One drink at every rooftop bar from Central to Wan Chai
– A cooking class

Now, none of these are exceedingly original in the world in general, but actually they are for Hong Kong. If you’re more emboldened, you can go crazier, like hop on a bus, get off 15-17 stops from there, and try to find your way back home without a taxi or google maps. 

If you want more specifics, I’ve got you covered – I did this recently so it’s my top pick until it becomes known and a commodity. 

You know Ozone, right? ICC, Ritz-Carlton, tallest bar in the world? It’s pretty cool, but what’s cooler is the Veuve Clicquot Sunset Lounge on the other side of the bar, which for some reason nobody knows about. The Ritz transformed the terrace outside their gym on the 118th floor into a little couples’ nook – placing a bunch of day beds and a cool Dutch waiter in a full view of the sunset. 
 


(Part of) the view

It’s the best place I’ve found for sunset cocktails – bright, airy, quiet, secluded. Good for cuddles or perhaps a sneaky kiss or two.

Rooftop bars in Hong Kong are solid – from Wooloomooloo, to Sevva, to Azure, to Sugar, to Aqua – but they’re mostly the party vibe. Veuve Lounge is the relaxed date vibe – curl out on your day bed, have a bottle of Rich, gaze at the majesty of Hong Kong and tell everyone you’re the emperor of ice cream.

So here’s your itinerary:

– Taxi or MTR to ICC. Don’t tell your date what you’re doing. Just say you’re doing “something nice” then wink unless you have one of those creepy winks, in which case smile.

– Go to Ozone. Then be like “the Veuve Lounge”. (Also you probably should make reservations.) She’ll be like “Oh I’ve been here it’s nice – wait what is this lounge?”

– Boom. Champagne. Sea-view. Sunset. 

– Smile. Be kind. Get a few tapas. On a date, never leave anyone hungry, or sober.

– Hang for an hour. Tell the staff to turn the house music down. Let the sun get very low in the sky. Smile again.

– Dinner. I’m thinking Hutong or FINDS. Something nice in TST.

– Post-dinner cocktail at Butler. 

– Taxi home. If you played your cards right, maybe it’s only one stop.

Good luck. 

Yalun Tu is a writer based in Hong Kong. He wrote The Straight Man column for HK Magazine, and TV scripts for HBO Asia, Channel V, and Fox Movies Premium. You can contact him at yalun.tu@gmail.com or @yaluntu on Twitter.
 


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